A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:First of all, I'm 17, the age on this is wrong.I was really good friends with this guy, lets call him chris, and I was completely in love with him. We slept together, then after two weeks of not talking we became fwb, then he started going out with this girl and I was left totally heart broken.But now, two months on, I seem to be pretty much completely over him, but I can not stop fantasizing about his dad.I've only fancied three people in my life, a guy in my year who I only went off because he started dating my best friend when I was 12/13, then I was in love with a teacher for 3 and a half years and then chris.Any way, I was thinking about what it would be like to be in a relationship with chris' dad, like, I don't just think of him in a purely sexual way, and I was wondering since I feel like this about him and also had a long term crush on my teacher if there was something wrong with me. Most of the guys I look at are at the very youngest 30, it's rare enough that I find myself attracted to guys my age.Also my dad lives in a different country and so I hardly know him. Does this mean that I have daddy issues, also, I don't actually know what daddy issues are, it's just a phrase to me.Could the reason that I like his dad be because it's HIS dad rather then a randomer?So analyze away, I really want to know what is the reason for me liking such older men.
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best friend, crush, my teacher, older men Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, cindy 15  +, writes (28 June 2010):
 i dont think its wrong at all many other girls like older guys i am one even so whats wrong with it older guys who should you blame nothings wrong with it.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2010): So many girls about our age fancy older men, I think it's a maturity thing where the guys about 17/18 don't really compare, the thing is if a guy who is about 40 is going to go out with a 18 year oldthen they are just as immature as us, annoying but true.
I wouldn't worry about it, when a guy your own age comes along you'll be fine
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2010): The reason is that it's normal for some women to like older men. Older men can father children almost as well as younger men. Older women cannot bear children the same way. So men prefer women in their fertile years but women's attractions can stretch much farther into older ages.
The old "girls mature faster than boys" thing comes up a lot in these conversations but I don't think it applies. That is about differences between boys and girls when they are like 10-14yo kids. The idea that an 18yo girl is somehow on equal maturity footing with a 40yo man is laughable (and extremely sexist). It doesn't mean she is an extra mature 18yo girl and it doesn't make him an immature 40yo man. It's just sexual attraction, that's all. A healthy relationship is something else entirely.
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A
female
reader, kitty-cat=]  +, writes (28 June 2010):
![kitty-cat=] agony aunt](/avatars/4e276644-588c-43d2-bf37-fe35b92660b5.png) some girls are legitimately attracted to older guys. i am. i can't help it. i always fall for my teachers and find my friends dads very attractive. i think there more mature than teenage boys. and i feel like they can take better care f me. there isn't anything wring with it at all. maybe you like his dad because hes a lot like him, but you also liked your teacher so i think your attracted to older men too. maybe just because you feel like you need a fatherly figure in your life. i hope this helps :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2010): i dont think its bad. or anything to worry about your turning 18 whenever and who should blame you for likeing older guys high skool guys suck haha but yea umm i think u should wait on the dad guy at least til ur like 19
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