A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:At what age is it assumed a woman is sexually active? For men, is it a turn off to find out a woman is a virgin? Especially, of those men that are of mature age?For women, how old were some of you when you lost your virginity? What sort of pressures did you feel if any? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2008): Actually a lot of men like the thought of being with someone whos a virgin. So never ever feel like its something bad. I was 17 when i lost my virginity and i didnt feel pressured at all as i was ready. All these people asking should they be having sex at 12 years old its ridiculous. x
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2008): Most men HATE the idea of their wife being with anyone else. It's a HORRIBLE feeling that nothing ever helps and it never goes away. Not just the idea of her being with anyone else in the present, but anyone else EVER. Men just accept their women having been sexually active outside of marriage because men like getting laid themselves when they're single. But most men would love to be able to "wipe the memory" of their spouse's former lovers if there was any possible way.
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A
female
reader, Secret Teller +, writes (12 July 2008):
 it doesn't matter what age you are, have sex when you are ready. if you have pressured sex you will regret it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2008): i was 15
my bf was 17
id been with him 2 and a half weeks!
Is enough Said to ipmly i was pressured?
Alot!
After that if a lad asked how many people id slept with i said none
because they tended to respect me more!
wait till you are ready
because you will regret it xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2008): I will be honest - I was 23, it was with someone that I felt a great deal of love for and we stayed together for nearly 5 years after that, and now, another 8 years on from that he's still my best friend. I didn't wait until marriage, just until I felt that I had someone in my life that I loved enough to want to have a full, physical relationship with.
If a partner pressures you to have sex when you are not ready they aren't worth it.
If a partner judges you harshly because you are a virgin (whatever your age) or because you don't want to jump straight into bed with them, they aren't worth it.
Wait until you are ready - and only you will know when that is, no one else. Virginity is not an obsticle to be overcome as soon as possible, but neither is it something to be held on to with fanaticism. Ideally it is something that you have, you hold onto, and when the time and the person you are with are right for you, to be given over freely.
Hold out until it's right for you and don't bow to pressure if it's not what you want. Sod what everyone else around you says, this is your body, your life and your decision.
Best wishes and I hope that helps.
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A
female
reader, bebe girlie  +, writes (12 July 2008):
Hi.. Well I just lost my virginity at 23 to my husband.. on the day we got married .. We dated for 2 years and umm well we only did the usual ( kissing hugging) ,, when we got married it was a relief and the marriage had a meaning to us because sex is a big part of marriage.. in my religion and country Kuwait a girl is supposed to stay virgin till she marries.. and it does make sense because sex is special and it should be with a special person that wants to spend the rest of his life with you... not some shitty guy who just wants to play around and leave(like guys i dated before im glad i didnt have sex with them)....well only my husband deserved this special moment and NO one else;)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2008): I lost my virginity at 15 years old with my 15 year old boyfriend of 6 months. I felt pressured by him and other peers around me, so much that I went ahead with it. It was a terrible thing to do and I have regretted it since the day. I haven't had sex again yet, and I'm 18 years old now. I plan to wait until I find someone that I can be with for the rest of my life.
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A
male
reader, oldfool  +, writes (12 July 2008):
 You "waited" till you were 17?
16 or 17 seems to me being terribly young.... Are all those high school students running around after class having sex before they do their homework?
I guess I'm showing my age. I waited till I was 20 :)
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A
female
reader, Torianne  +, writes (12 July 2008):
 It all depends on the man. WOrking as a sex therapist I can honestly tell you that sexual experience turns a man on but so doeslack of as they can see themselves as a teacher.
I was nearly 17 when I lost my virginity and in all honesty i was glad I waited.
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (12 July 2008):
 Read the countless questions about posters who have trouble in a relationship because of the woman having a 'past'. Simple fact, most men do NOT enjoy the idea of a 100 guys having been there before. On the other hand, most men are also mature enough to realise that the women they end up with is probably not going to have waited for them.
That does not mean you have to stay a virgin, what it means is that if this is YOUR choice, then you have a fairly good chance of finding someone who will, secretly perhaps, pleased with it.
Life your own life. If this is your choice, life with it. If you want sex with someone, have it, just use your brain. Some of us are just not cut out for meaningless sex, thank god that in the west we are now free to life our lives the way WE want to.
Just read this site, for every girl with a past, there is a girl your age wondering is being a virgin is a problem.
For that matter, there are plenty of posts about guys asking if it is a problem that they are still virgins. Say that you meet Mr Right, he sets your heart afire and you want his babies, then on the day of your marriage, you find out that he is a virgin, same as you. Problem? Or... well that is just the way he is, you love him for his personality and his personality is what kept him a virgin for so long. Would you call of the wedding? Stop dating him? Etc etc?
Why then should a man do that when he finds out you are a virgin.
This is who you are, a woman who is probably a bit serious about relationships and doesn't just want a one-night-stand for the sake of fitting in with the tv-image of modern society. A man worthy of your love will respect that. If he doesn't, he ain't worthy of it.
And the same goes in reverse for women who are not a virgin. If someone you love doesn't accept you for who you are, don't.
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A
female
reader, baybee-x-sparkii +, writes (12 July 2008):
 i would agree with lotus mama but 12-13 is an insane age. i was slightly more sensible and lost it just after my 15th birthday. and there were no pressures.
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A
female
reader, lotus mama808 +, writes (12 July 2008):
 Now THATS a big question!!! It is funny you should ask because I've noticed that the age of sexually active girls are, well, dropping dramaticlly. I see girls here telling all about how they are going to lose their virginity at the age of 12, 13. It shocks me, everytime I see it. However, on the average, I think the age of 16 is when a good portion of females lose their virginity. I don't believe men of mature age find virginity to be a turn off unless that virgin is completely unattractive. I lost my virginity when I just turned 17, and my mother gave me the "contraceptive talk" wen I was 16. I guess she assumed I might be sexually active. I have always been aware that my body is my temple, and refused to lay down with just anyone. I was also raised with 7 brothers, so I was well aware of the behaviors and pressures boys put on girls to get laid. In high school, there were loads of pressure on me, and I always figured it was because I respected myself and guys found that to be somewhat of a challange. It's so sad to me that the age of girls being sexually active is so young. I imagine it will increase the STD statistics and teenage pregnancy rates. A girl that young is not mentally developed enough to understand the consiquences of self disrespect.
Anyway, back on topic, a girl who saves herself, in my opinion, is more attractive to a sexually MATURE guy. At least thats what my brothers can all agree on;)
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