A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes: There is a guy nice guy at my church and I liked him the monent I saw him but he had a girlfriend and I back off which was a year ago and forgot about him. Me and him are in the same weekly church group but never really talked much Recently I had a dream about him and work up and I knew immediately that he is now single I checked on our group whatsapp and saw that his girlfriend had left the group and I have not seen her at church for s long while . And whenever am going to church I always know whether or not I will see him there and my feeling is always correct as his either there or not Long story short on two occasions that I had either sat close to him or near him out feet or legs were touching and he did not move his and I didn't move mine. Could this be a sign he likes me. You'd think if you didn't like someone and their feet or legs was touching yours you would move it away right? He didn't move his I never see him looking or starting at me and he hardly talks to me his not a shy guy he is what I'd describe as mr social. I feel like he hardly notices that I exist. Do you think there is a possibly he might like me Oh and am 22 and his 23
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2017): I meant to say:
"If he's interested, he might beat you to the draw."
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2017): The guy is a nice church-going fellow. He seems quite pious to always appear at service like clockwork.
I do want to address the issues about touching legs. That doesn't mean anything. If you're close on a pew it happens. My guess is his mind is more likely on more religious thoughts than sitting there lusting over you.
Sometimes you freeze when people do things that are inappropriate for the setting. He knows you're flirting and would probably prefer you be more outright if you want to get to know him.
I think you should cool-it with copping feels in church, by the way. It's not very respectful in the house of the Lord.
There are church outings and meet-and-greets specifically set for members (especially young folks) to mingle and get to know each other.
Stop being creepy in church; and just say hello to break the ice. Once you introduce yourself, and initiate a nice conversation; maybe you can ask him out for coffee. If he's interest it, he might beat you to the draw.
Cool the crush until you know who it is you're crushing on; and why you like the guy. You're caught-up in fantasy and infatuation. Settle-down and be more grown-up.
He hasn't attempted to speak to you. That's an indication he doesn't have a clue you're interested. Glances and long stares just come-off as weird, it's better to talk to people you're interested in. If you can't get-up the nerve to talk to him; it's strange you can push your leg over to touch his.
Seriously, sweetheart?!! ;)
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (16 December 2017):
Why not initiate some small chats with him?
Touching legs/arm when sitting in church doesn't mean much. But for him to NOT move away might mean he is OK with it or that he just doesn't read more into it.
It's much easier to see if he could be interested IF he wants to TALK to you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2017): The touching thing means that at the least he’s not averse to you -that could be as a friend, romantic interest, or even just a fellow Christian human being. And just because he’s not shy generally, doesn’t mean he’s not shy when it comes to pursuing a person he likes.
Basically, I’m saying that the things you’re pointing out are not definitive enough to prove anything. And it seems you want something like proof regarding whether he likes you or is interested.
From my experience, shy people (I’m assuming you’re shy) usually don’t get the guy/girl when they continue to be shy, especially in the context you’re describing. Because he’s certainly not making a move.
I suggest you start talking to him more so you know for a fact he IS aware of you, and then get to a point where you can talk to him one on one, eventually hang out, whether it’s in a group or just the two of you. And then I think you’ll know more about where his interest lies. And who knows, maybe you get to know him and find you don’t like him so much anymore.
Good luck!
So yes,
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2017): I beg to differ.
The kind of physical contact you are describing does indicate there is an attraction. At least on a subconscious, non acknowledged level.
If you want to really know, you need to be friendly with him. You don't have to ask him out. Just strike up a conversation and possibly friendship. Start by talking about mutual interests/something you have in common, which is your church.
If you are friendly and open with him and he does like you, that might be all the encouragement he needs.
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A
female
reader, Dionee' +, writes (16 December 2017):
Sad to say, bodily contact of this kind i.e legs touching doesn´t mean anything. It definitely would not get you points or make him want to start dating you.
If you want to get to know him then strike up a casual conversation and get to know HIM. Just a casual conversation and as time goes by, take it from there.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (16 December 2017):
Trust your gut feeling. You suspect he hardly notices your existence and you are probably right.
You need to step out of your comfort zone and actually interact a bit with him. Make him notice you. Smile. Speak to him. It doesn't take much to smile and say "hi, how are you?" or "Have you had a good week?" or ANYTHING! What is he interested in? Ask him about it. People usually like talking about themselves. Show interest and he will start noticing you.
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123 +, writes (16 December 2017):
Your post made me smile and brought back memories of all the times I'd had a crush on someone and desperately wanted them to like me back!
Sweetie I'm sorry it's very unlikely that he likes you based on what you've described... But you already know that, don't you? Maybe you could try talking to him, initiate a conversation and see how it goes from there?
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