A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Well I have been dating this guy for almost three years and I think he might be gay, but I'm not sure. When I first met him I thought he was a little feminine but I eventually fell for him. Now, almost three years later I beginning to wonder if I was wrong. He and my brother are best friends and I know my little brother is gay (though he would never admit it to me).I found out because I got on my boyfriends myspace and sifted through some old messages. I was looking for something I hade sent him a while back and I ran across a message to him from my brother--and well let's just say it became very clear that my brother, and their other friend are VERY gay. Which is fine, however now I was thinking "Well his two bestfriends are gay and he knows, maybe he is as well."Needless to say I looked at more and more messages. And I could never get a clear answer from them. In some messages he appeared gay, and in others he flat out said "I'm straight and I have a girlfriend." One guy even replied "Straight in what world!"I asked him once "if you were gay, would you tell me?" and he told me he wouldn't. And I cannot ask him if he is because he gets that enough. My older female cousin is friends with a few gays males who have told her my boyfriend is gay--or atleast he was before me. I just don't know what to believe.I'm not mad that he could possibly be gay, it just hurts. I know reading his messages was wrong, but can you blame me? I mean he's feminine, doesn't have bass in his voice, is as concerned about his hair and clothes as I am, hangs with other boys who are in the closet. But could that have ust been a phase he's out of? Or am I just trying to make excuses for his behavior? Please help.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2008): There's a chance every woman's boyfriend could be gay, even yours. I have a friend married to a man who was gay. They are married and they have children, and they get counseling to deal with the marriage and how he used to be gay.I encourage you to learn about NARTH, research and therapy
about homosexuality, conversion therapy, ex-gays, Exodus International, Dennis Jernigan, Alan Chambers, PFOX, Catholic Courage and ENCOURAGE. If you think your boyfriend is gay, it's up to him if he wants to be gay, or straight, gay, or ex-gay, in the closet, or out. It's up to both of you to abstain from sex, or only use latex condoms if you are having sex. If I were you, I would not be having sex at all with a boyfriend who may be gay and in the closet. It's too high of a risk for AIDS, or other permanent things the doctors can't make go away.
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