A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Im the kind of person who doesnt give up on relationships easily, be it romantic or just friendships. Trouble is it means I often get treated a lot worse than i should. I have a guy friend at the moment and he is a real fairweather friend. I know a lot of people will tell me to walk away but that is not the advice I need. If things get that bad I WILL do that. My question is is there anyway to make people treat you better without being a doormat or just giving up on the friendship. Ive had so many people disappear out of my life just because they cant be bothered to put the effort into maintaining a friendship through thick and thin. Is there a better way to get peoples love and loyalty? If i didnt compromise sometimes - Id have no-one left in my life! Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2009): There really is no way to make people treat you better, dear. They are who they are. Perhaps, you have to be more selective by looking for people who choose your views and principals. It's likely, that it is just in your personality, to be a nice, compassionate person. That is who you are. When you have friends in your life who treat you like a doormat, they can cause a form of pain that invades your personal identity. And being a kind, nice person is your identity. So when friends treat you disrespectfully or badly, then the problem I am getting from your posting, is you are not looking out for yourself here, in a 'toxic' friendship. You could be lacking the ability to look out for your own best interests. And the only way you can do that, is to be able to set boundaries and be honest with friends when they treat you badly. You risk losing this friend, but there is no other way. So, it sounds to me like you should be 'cleaning house' a bit..by dumping the toxic, bad friends and retaining the ones that treat you well. You need to be more honest with these friends, be more stronger when some of your 'friends' treat you like a doormat. Gain their respect and let them know your boundaries And if some of your friends are still nasty/toxic after all this...then my dear...they aren't true friends. You simply sever the relationship and move on. Good luck, dear and just be selective...very selective. After all, you offer a lot...and a good friend will cherish you, like you deserve to be
|
