A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've been dating my bf for the past 2 years. He was broke when I met him but he was still able to take me to dinner and pay for this and that. He was working hard and had lots of expenses due to school so there was a reason for not having money at all. I have a good paying job so I didn't mind paying when he couldn't. Btw, we're both in our early 30s. Now 2 years later, he dropped out of school and is now trying to learn new skills in the hope of finding a job in 6 months. He's even more broke than before and for the past 3 months I've been paying for everything when we are together (we don't live together). But I'm slowly starting to resent. It's hard to be equal when there is such a gap between us. He says he'll have a job in 6 months but who knows. I'm just wondering if a couple where the man is broke all the time can last.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2013): Majority of relationships don't work where the woman pays for everything, its simple we are creatures that love to be spoilt and feel that our man can provide for us. I had a friend who had a stay at home husband and the marriage fell apart because she got tired brining home the bacon.
If you did not feel the same you, would not be here asking the question.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2013): Statistically both partners are happier when the man makes more money. Its not politically correct but its true.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (16 September 2013):
 In the book "The Guy's guide to finances" there is a brief chapter about just this subject. IN TOTAL, the chapter reads:
"Lucky guy... if you can get your "girlfriend" to pay your way through life.... whilest you protest that you are trying your darndest to make ends meet... and she continues to put out for you, all the while funding you... then you, Sir, have achieved the financial Nirvana to which so many guys aspire."
I think that's where you and he are, now.... It will last as long as you allow it.
Good luck...
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (16 September 2013):
 Other then him being broke, how is the relationship?
I understand that if you are the one to foot the bill constantly, that you are beginning to resent it.
MAYBE you two need to come up with more creative and cheap ways to spend time together.
It's been 2 years, he didn't finish his degree, he isn't working. STILL. Is he living with his parents as well or how does he live?
To me it seems like he is more of a dreamer then a go-getter. He has all these idea on how he will make it "big" somehow.
You having a good paying job doesn't mean YOU should pay for everything. The thing is, he can't pay for squat. IF you think he is actual sincere about his 6 months plan (should be 3 months left before that happens) are you willing to wait it out?
Is he OK with you paying or does he ever express concern about his inability to help pay?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2013): You've stuck it out this long, you've already invested so much, I would say give him an ultimatum of 6 months. If in that time he has not landed a job, then it's time for action.
While he was studying it's understandable, because once someone ends studies they are employable. However, he dropped out, so now it's either work or ... hit the road. Why? because if you don't, he will have no motivation to do anything because he knows you can bail him out.
He will need to take responsibility for his life choices, and himself.
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