A
male
age
36-40,
*hil2011
writes:Hi, I've been with the same girl now since i was 15 years old. I am now about to be 22 and for the past little while not sure exactly how long, it felt like we had lost our spark together. Just last week she came out about thinking about what it would be like to date other people. This crushed me to no end and since Monday of last week i haven't been able to function in the real world. What makes matters worse is that over the past few months I've been feeling like something like this was coming, but every time i hinted towards it or even motioned about it she didn't seem to have anything wrong. That was until this past Monday she came crying her eyes out about how she had been feeling. I told her that id been feeling like we where losing it but everything would be ok. She has been hanging out with an old friend of hers from high school a few times over the past few months and i feel like that is what finally got her to come out about it, because obviously this guy is pursuing her to some degree and now her emotions flooded out to me. She says she loves me with all shes got, but that she needs to just find herself. I told her id give her that space whenever she wanted it, but the crazy part is after this whole ordeal she has been over here everyday on her own accord. Im so confused right now, we still sit together eat together hug and kiss....even after all this, i just keep asking her when are we going to actually get through this, because i feel like we are just prolonging things. She responds usually with i dont know or can we not talk about it kinda thing. I mention to her that im ok with a break, obviously not but i want her to really do what she needs to and to not worry about me. I just need some help, because i dont want to be the one to call for anything to happen because its her that is having the issue. I love her with all my being, and that i was hoping to progress forward even more with our relationship. I try my best not to call or text her, so that she can really figure things out and not feel pressured by me. Ive broken that 2 or 3 times now but we are not on a brake she claims. Yet everyone she has talked to and I alike says that is what is needed. I don't know what to do, i cant eat i cant sleep i cant do school work. This girl has been the most important thing im my life, and i would do anything for her, even if its not being with her at all. She tells me that nothing has even come of this guy and that they really are even now just friends. I'll admit when she first started hanging out with him i was a bit questiony, because she had never done anything like that before. I now regret that and i know that was wrong because i should never question her. She even started going out more with her friends instead of doing things with me, which again im completely fine with but being we are a very young couple girls needs girls night out. WOW just now i mean this minute at 2:10pm she just called me as she was comin out of class "im hungry want me to bring anything home?" me "sure what you got in mind" her "i got a kfc coupon still that sound pretty good?" me "yeah sure that sounds good" her "aighty ill see you when i get home" me i say "aight sweetie" her "I love you"me "i love you too". what am i suposed to do with this, am i over reacting? this really might end up nothing and might just blow over. Any advice at all is always appriciated thank you for reading my pain
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a break, crush, spark, text Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2010): imagine you both live up to 100yo... so you'll be together for hmm... 85years... if 7 years make you bored. what about when you guys are in the 30s, 40s?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2010): Sit and talk to her, forget about the spark, forget about that shit. Society has sold us the cinderella story which doesn't exist. If you feel bored after 7 years or if she feels like that, the bad news are that this is going to happen with whoever you engage afterwards so what's the point of breaking today's relation ship? Let's assume you let her go and she starts a new relationship, believe me, give it 2 or 3 years being optimistic, and she will be feeling like what the hell I have done?
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