A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I met a guy a few weeks back in a bar, we instantly hit it off and have been talking ever since. He knew who I was as he went to school with my older brother so we know a few of the same people. I was talking to a friend about him and she asked his surname, then she reminded me who he’s related to, basically it’s emerged that two years ago I slept with this guys brother. I’m so anxious about this as I’d blanked it out as a very regrettable, drunken mistake, but now I’m feeling guilty and every time we talk and flirt and make plans to meet up I’m feeling sick because I know I have to tell him. I just don’t know how to or how he’ll react, I feel like it’s doomed before it’s even begun so any advice would be great.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2018): Why do you have to tell him? How on earth would it matter anyway? He met you two years later; and you weren't in a relationship with his brother.
If you meet someone in a bar; it is most certain they have a past. If it should ever come-up and become a matter of discussion; all you have to admit is that you once met his brother. You don't have to give-out sordid details of your past-life to someone you've just met; unless you have a sexually-transmitted disease, or you're still married to somebody else. The rest is your personal-business.
It's best you don't pretend to be someone you're not. Be true to yourself; and be judged for who you are. Not for every past mistake you ever made. He's probably got a few humdingers he's not proud of either.
If you decide up the road to date regularly, and become exclusive; then you should inform him that you met his brother some time in the past, and you were intimate. This will give him a choice. Continue, or be on his way.
Don't sit stewing on it. Otherwise; mind your behavior when you're out drinking, or it will comeback to bite you in the ass.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2018): I'm not so certain that it's doomed. I have a friend who slept with a guy she met in a bar a couple times. A year later she met his brother and began seriously dating him. When she found out who his brother was she told him that she had been with his brother and the circumstances that led to those two episodes. He didn't like it, but he loved her. A few years later they got married and they've been married thirteen years now.
My advice is to tell him and let the chips fall where they may. Everyone has a past. If he likes you enough and is secure and confident in himself, he'll probably accept it and give a possible relationship with you a chance.
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