A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi!My ex was cheating on me because he believed and still believe that I was doing things behind his back. I forgave him, though he asked me to make an end, for if it were the contrary, he had never taken me back.Week passed, and he began to behave strange. He was mean, I do not know if that's because he regretted what he did. He broke up with me to the end of his apology was then that he felt trapped. Several days I cried at home, so loud that my dad heard me and comforted me. My ex said he did not love me, he crapped in me and so on.I took hold of it pretty quickly, but in a bad way. I was "cheating" when we were not together, but he says that i did so much worse than what he did. Note! He cheated on me twice, long before I did anything and we were togheter. When i did it, we wasent!Months went by, he hated me. He could not look me in the eye, he said. Months went by and he said every time when we saw that we could not get back to mo like a boyfriend.Stupid as I was, or maybe not because I had no rights to him, because we were not together. So I started talking normally with a guy who as normal flirted with me but I was serious and normal and showed no interest.My ex found out about this and became angry, sad and frustrated. According to him, he had tried to show in a strange way that he wanted me back. But he kept saying for months that we could not get along.I prayed to God that he would forgive me and if not then I would sacrifice as facebook, messenger code, etc.. But now I'm a whore, etc. etc. etc..What should I do? I have depression and i cant consentrate in nothing..!
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2011): It saddens me when I hear people are so young and in relationships that are unhealthy. We all know the pain of losing someone we love, or thinking we love, during our teenage years it is a common occurrence but overall this is a time that should be fun and carefree and you should be able to look back with fond memories.
Firstly you use the word cheated for what you did when you two were not together. You did not cheat. You did what was natural and tried to move on. Do not let him convince you that you cheated, that is a demon in his mind he will have to deal with alone.
So then your ex gets mad because you are talking to a boy. He has absolutely no right and instead of praying for his forgiveness you should tell him where to go! He has some serious trust issues and you must know in your heart that you do not love him, but pity him. Things will not change and if he is prepared to call you a whore why on earth would you want him anyway?
My advice to you is to now focus on yourself. Do not delete all your messenger accounts etc... Why on earth should you do that? But importantly delete him!! Block him and remove him from everything. At this stage I would not even attempt to be civil with him. It is not selfish to give him the cold shoulder if it is going to help you get over him.
I would also say not to rush into a relationship with anyone else. Have time just to be you and make sure you go out with your friends and return to having a social life that isn't ruled by this ex boyfriend. No one ever in life will have a right to control you and rule you. When you are older and with someone else you will see a healthy relationship involves compromise, trust and overall it is the support you give each other to be able to achieve your dreams. Your dreams and goals do not ever have to change for anyone but instead they become part of it and support you through the challlenges, and you do not change theirs but become a support to them also.
Sorry for such a long reply but it is genuinely upsetting to know that at your age someone has had enough power to make you feel depressed. It wasn't long ago I was your age and despite hard times I have brilliant memories and you deserve that too. Good luck, and please don't hesitate to come back for moral support should times get tough xxx
A
female
reader, Starlights  +, writes (24 November 2011):
 The basis of any good healthy relationship is TRUST.
From what you have written it sounds like your ex has severe trust issues... do you really want to be with someone who does not trust you, who does not believe you and who belittles you?
I know its hard to come to terms with a nasty breakup but from my experience if you both work things out the likelihood is that he will cheat again and then blame you for it.
Dont give your power over to someone else and allow them to treat you like crap.
You deserve to be treated better and treated good. You deserve the best!
I hope this helps!
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