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female
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anonymous
writes: I'm 27 years old. I have just started a new relationship with a 37 year old women. At first I thought she was great, but now I am finding her very dominating towards me. She dosen't feel comfortable with any type of public affection (holding hands), not even when we are just at my sisters house. She has already started to tell me how she wants me to wear my hair! The problem is that I have not been with a girl who is so good in bed as she is, and I am worried if I dump her I won't find any one as good in bed as she is. What should I do? Dump her or stay? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2008): If you continue you'll end up being cuckolded. Men are there to be seduced and tamed by this type of insecure women. Once you adopt the sub role she'll be having an alpha male behind your back. Enjoy her and move on kid. There's a whole world full of women out there of all types physically and psychologically.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2005): Easy.
You need to define this relationship in a way you are comfortable with. It seems like at this point she isnt gf material for you, so come to some mutually agreeable relationship that extends to sex and a couple of other things (it wouldnt kill you to buy her dinner if shes into that).
If you can define a relationship you like then move on with good will
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2005): Whats more important here?? the fact that she seems ashamed of showing you any kind of love and affection outside the home or the fact that the sex is good..come on there is more to a relationship than sex and a couple can learn and adjust what they want in the bedroom to suit each other if you are prepared to work at it..dont stay with someone just because she knows what she is doing sexually.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2005): Save yourself some grief....let me rephrase that... save 'her' some grief and walk away, hun, You don't love her, let alone really like her as a person as you are-you don't respect her and you are only using her for her 'talents' in the sack. A real love is generous, unselfish, even sacrificial, giving of ourselves to others, without thinking of what we get in return. This is not you. Most people will agree that someone can be considered mature when they are responsible, dependable, trustworthy, loving, secure, stable, and capable of self-control. She really deserves this with someone else who's willing to look beyond her sexual talents and truely appreciate and love her for who she really is-namely a person, with a heart and a mind.
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reader, Rebecca Batchelor +, writes (14 October 2005):
 If most of the agony aunts on this site are aunts and not uncles, then I think you may be talking to the wrong people!
Okay, how is she dominating towards you? Because she's told you how she would like you to wear your hair? That's such a sin!
Why would you be concerned about her lack of public display of affection if she is so good between the sheets as you say? Does it really matter to you?
I think you need to ask yourself some very serious questions.
1. Are you with her just because the sex is so good and only because of that or do you actually like her for who she is?
2. Do you want a relationship with a woman, a committed relationship or just a sex friend?
3. What are you prepared to give to a relationship other than sex?
4. Are you only worried about not finding someone else as good in bed as your girlfriend? Is that the only reason why you would consider staying with her?
Do you actually think anything of this girl?
There is far more to a relationship than sex and you can't base a relationship purely on sex so your answer to your question possibly is within these words.
Maturity, I think, you need to gain.
I wish you luck (and her!)
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reader, pops +, writes (14 October 2005):
Dump her.Great lovers are created by you. You will find someone who enjoys your touching side, and will not be so controlling. And, then you can train her to pleasure you, while she teaches you to pleasure her. This may come as a surprise, but people are not born knowning how to do sex, and women are not necessarily better at pleasuring other women, just because they are women.
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female
reader, sdrn92 +, writes (14 October 2005):
 this is just the beginning of her controlling attitude. there are more good and better people in bed. shes not the first and wont be the last. move on and explore other avenues. get out meet other people u wont be sorry, so then u can be yourself which is really what its supposed to be all about in the sack and other parts of the relationship.
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female
reader, catat_foreva +, writes (14 October 2005):
Right, this all depends on how you feel about her - not just how she is in bed!
If you still love her stay with her and tell her that she doesn't need to act so motherly towards you and that you still love her so she doesn't feel as though she let you down. If you are only in love with her because she is good in bed, you should split up with her and tell her that it's not working out properly and that you still want to be friends.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2005): If you are just looking to have fun, then tolerate the controlling behavior until you have had enough. However if you are looking for a real relationship, then cut your losses now and move on. You need a girlfriend, not a mother.
Great physical relationships are more than just bedroom action. When you find the woman that you really love and would do anything for, the woman who understands you and treats you with respect and honors you, I am positive that your sexual relationship will be much greater than the one you are having now, because a woman who really loves her man will do anything it takes to please him.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2005): Well I really think you should get away from this one. She's dominating you because you are younger the so called ''toy boy''.SO obviously you can take the domination in the bedroom but not elsewhere in the relationship.You don't love this woman you love what she offers,you need to get out. The right girl is not going to come along if you stay with this woman. Be adventerous and enter single life with a bit of pride.You will find a woman that is brilliant in bed and shows you effection outside the bedroom too.
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