A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I met my girlfriend when i was 16, we are now both 20 now and have been together for four years. Over the last four years both of our personalities have changed, mainly that I now enjoy going out drinking and clubbing whilst I am young wheras her ideal night would be in front of the TV. She doesnt drink and is baisicly the complete opposite of me. I still really love her and know that life would be difficult without her in it but I feel that becausue we got together at such a young age I have missed out on doing what a young person does. In a way i guess I am scared of finishing with her as she has been a massive part of my life for so long and I am worrid that i am suffering from "is the grass greener on the other side syndrome". I know it would destroy her if we were to split up but Im having thoughts that in 40 years time I wll look back and either say "I wish we didnt break up" or "I wish i enjoyed my youth a bit more" I really dont know wht to do for the best and would really appreciate some advice and guidance! Thanks.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2009): i know exactly what you mean (i think)
im a 17 year old girl meet my bf when i had just turned 16 and a year and a bit away we are completely in love but im just wondering because he is such a 'low- energy' nice quiet kind of guy who would rather have a nice special dinner the two of us at home and other things... while i want to go out more and party and go clubbing and all that before coming home and being together :)
so im quite confused really- because i would love to go out flirt have fun with other guys- but then i love my bf even though wer so young and weve decided to commit and then you see i tried breaking up because of reasons like this and it just hasnt worked i felt terrible and depressed and couldnt stand it and i went out clubbing and it was the worst time ever
now ive decided i stay with my bf
ill still go out clubbing with friends- i wont get with any guys of course i can still have that kind of fun
sometimes he will come with me even though hes not that into that 'wild' sort of fun but hes sort of getting into it and i have guy friends i can party hard with witthout getting too intimate and my bfs sort of bending to it
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2009): As much as I can appreciate the feelings you have for her, you are too young to be committing so soon. Trust me, I'm in my 40's and that is one thing I would have done differently. It doesn't mean that you won't end up with each other, who knows? But think of your 20's as a time to explore yourself and find out who you are. It isn't easy and you will change even more. You still have to figure out so many things, i.e. what your career will be, finishing school etc. It will be better for her too in the long run if she ventures out and explores herself as well. I would encourage that you find time for yourself in the coming years but also to date others as well. Does this guarantee happiness in the future? Nothing is a guarantee but I do believe it certainly can't hurt.
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A
male
reader, Blanquito87  +, writes (11 June 2009):
well to be honest sure clubbing and going out is fun.but you need to decide what is more important to you.having fun or spending time with her.u guys need to talk tell her how you feel be honest with her.lies and holding things like this inside of u can really make things go sour and painful.maybe you guys should take a break.usually i would never suggest a break but at your age it might be worth a try.to see how it feels when you lost her.this will make you feel 2 different ways A.Your going out every night clubbing talking to girls chilling flirting around getting girls numbers and not even thinking about her (OR)
B.you feel depressed and down and the only thing you can seem to do is think about her.
in my opinion the mind is everyones enemy when dating.mind can tend to think to much and forces people into making choices that their heart didnt agree with.follow your heart dude
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A
female
reader, Jesshton +, writes (11 June 2009):
 This is a tough one. No matter what you choose you will always wonder what if. You really need to sit her down and talk to her about what you are thinking. Sometime apart maybe what is best for the both of you, and allow you to enjoy your youth. Just prepare yourself that if you do take a break, it could end up being for good. Hope this helps.
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