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Is the friend the reason our relationship crumbled???

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating, Friends<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 March 2010) 4 Answers - (Newest, 6 March 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

i went out with my boyfriend for 5 months it was brilliant for the first month and everything was going really well until i met his friend, his friend started ringing me every night and i stupidly ended up talking to his friend rather then my boyfriend, do you think this is a reason our relationship soon crumbled? and he then dumped me at a party after he found out i had his friend my house because i wasnt allowed to the party do you think he dumped me because of that reason or could it be something else ? i deleted him off facebook and havnt spoken to him since, theres just one problem, i can't stop thinking about him , i am in love with him and every time i think theres a chance he is over me it makes me feel sick, please help, i dont know what to think or do :( x

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A female reader, Laura1318 Malaysia +, writes (6 March 2010):

Laura1318 agony auntIf you want him back , you should cut off all contacts with his friend and try to get back into his world.

Try to keep your communications lines open.

If he does not respond, you will have to move on .

If you want to know the truth , you could go and confront him and see if he is willing to tell you the reasons and whether you will be able to persuade him to give you another chance.

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A female reader, QuirkLady United States +, writes (6 March 2010):

QuirkLady agony auntYou failed the test. Really, why were you spending all that time talking to his friend instead of him? You exposed yourself as a woman that he can't trust. Why would he spend time with you when he could spend time with someone that wasn't chasing after and flirting with his friend? You should have told his friend to stop calling right from the start, but no, you went along with the okey-doke and even had the dude over! No guy is going to tolerate that in a girlfriend!

Next time, get your priorities straight and always put your boyfriend first.

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A female reader, pinktopaz United States +, writes (6 March 2010):

What would you do if he was talking on the phone and hanging out with one of your girlfriends more than you? As women, we might talk about it before just going straight to a breakup, but not everyone is the same and he probably felt hurt and thought it was easier to just dump you. When he broke up with you he didn't tell you why?

I think if you want to talk to him about it, it might be okay to reach out to him. Usually I would say that it's best to move on, but if it's something that you did and that you can fix, then might as well try if you think things can work, but keep in mind if he is just going to dump you like that, then he's not the best communicator and that could also be a problem in the future. If you choose to talk to him, don't ask him if that's the reason why because you don't want him to go with that if it was actually something else. Otherwise, that will be an easy excuse for him and he can say it's you and not him. If it's because of another girl, he didn't see the relationship going anywhere, or didn't want a relationship anymore, then it would be time to move on definitely.

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (5 March 2010):

I think you and his friend got too close for comfort and he decided he was better not having anything to do with you. And certainly when you had his friend around he got worried. There is nothing wrong with having male friends at all. You just need to make sure that your boyfriend is first on the list. He felt like he was second. Now you need to move on.

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