A
female
,
*icky
writes: Hi, I am unsure if the boy I'm dating is gay. When we first met. my friend said 'don't bother because he is gay'.When we first had sex he asked me if I'd ever had anal sex. Then when we finally got intimate he fingered me but was just staring at my bottom after telling me to lie on my front. He loved my hair and beauty magazine, never fingers my vagina just my behind, takes longer than me to get ready and loves clothes and fashion more than me. He has mainly female friends his best friend is a girl. He was adopted and has no father figure. What dya think? And to top things off he always manages to initiate an argument or says he is too tired for sex! Also boys would have a girl as a screen saver not a male singer. He once slipped out that he is TRYING to get him self excited after annoying me before sex, he then took it back.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2005): Yes. Based on the male singer alone.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2005): He may not necessarily be gay, maybe just curious or confused. I wouldn't worry about it too much, I think that if he was gay, he probably wouldn't be with you at all. Also, people enjoy different things, and something that may seem different to you, may turn him on. Talk to him about it if it really bothers you, he's the only one that can really explain it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2005): Yes, he seems effeminate, but I wouldn't say he was gay. I lot of people go through a time in their life where they are questioning their sexuality, he could too. If you were really bothered then ask him.
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A
male
reader, Ellis Mac +, writes (24 October 2005):
How important is it for you to find a label for this boy? What do you want out of the relationship? How much do you like being around him? How much would you miss him if he were not around? What sort of heart felt connections are you making with him?
Try not to think too much about a label, but try to see him as a person first, and then whether he is the type of person that you want to be experiencing life with. Put the labeling aside for a second, and considering what are your feelings this person regardless of his sexuality. This may help you to make a decision as to whether you should continue to see him or not, as this is what the real issue is.
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A
reader, Rebecca Batchelor +, writes (19 October 2005):
There are enough warning signs here, admittedly, to suggest at least some confusion over his sexual orientation, but I think you need to ask yourself whether you really want to be with him anyway. Do you enjoy being with him? Could you consider settling just for a friendship? Most importantly, what do you really want from a relationship?
I don't know how old you are or how old he is but if it is only fun and enjoyment that you are after, then consider being just good friends and socialising together.
You could, of course, ask him whether he is gay but he may not (and obviously it seems this way) have accepted that he is.
Talk to him about what he wants and decide whether this 'relationship' is really worth pursuing anyway.
Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2005): Yes, it not only sounds like he's gay, but that he doesn't want to admit it to himself.Do both of you a favour and break it off. You both deserve to date people that are actually attracted to you.
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