A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Right, so heres the thing. Im white, my boyfriend is of pakistani decendancy.We have been together for over 6 months now, and well the problem is, my mum, she is really racist and i have been scared to tell her.I am planning to tell her by text before i get on the plane to go abroad to see my dad for a month, that way she would get used to the news while i was away. but thats in summer, and a long while away.My boyfriends family is entirely westernised and its not a problem on his side to be with me.I just wish my mum could see what makes me happy...advice?
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (15 May 2010):
 Do what you feel is best, maybe you could tell your mom you have a boyfriend first and see how she reacts to this fact alone? Then if she is curious about him be honest and tell the truth if you wish and see how it goes.
My father isn't racist, but can be strongly opinionated about whom I have as friends. He'd also not allow me to have male friends when I was younger. I told him white lies about my friends and in conversations changed the names of my male friends to girls-names. I figured it'd make both of our lives easier, rather than us banging our heads against each other. Then whenever he said his opinion, I'd try and ignore it, or agree and chat along with it, and then ignore it later on.
I don't think it'd be that horrible if you left out the fact that your boyfriend isn't white when you talk about him to your mom. Unless she wants him over for dinner, then you might want to prepare her.
Then again, not that many teens want their mothers to know about who they date or if they are even in a relationship.
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