A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm well-liked, I have lots of friends, and I'm a pretty sweet person. People trust me and often cry to me about their problems. With friends, typical teen situations like suicide, parents, grade-failure, love, are the topics talked about. With a boyfriend, it would always be because of something I did, and he would always cry really hard--and I mean, REALLY HARD (he'd be begging for my affection), while giving a pretty good and heartfelt argument about how wrong I was and how much he was getting hurt. I give good advice to friends which almost always suffice. To my boyfriend, I try to be really sorry and loving. I try as much as I can to understand the people around me when they're completely depressed and give as much thought to their situation as anyone who wishes to empathize would. But I can't. I can never make myself feel for them no matter how hard I try. Especially with my boyfriend, or any boyfriend I've had, for that matter, I am always able to do the most shameful things, shamelessly. When I do make the choice of doing the right thing and I get myself to confess and apologize, I always have to ACT sorry and fake crying. Even when someone dies and someone close to me would be really affected, I pretend to be sorry for their loss, but in my mind I think, dying is normal and it shouldn't be a big deal. I'm not emotionless. I have cried in movies, after hearing a sad song, reading a sad story (i love reading GMH, or reminiscing about something. I can be really hyped about something, or really scared. I haven't blocked out negative emotions either since anger is very dominant in me. I just can't seem to pity other people or feel any sense of remorse. I've taught myself how to cry, and what faces I should make while acting. I always have to fake it. The few people who truly know me have described me as being heartless, cold, or cruel. I'm not like this on purpose, I WANT TO FEEL SORRY for them, I WANT TO FEEL GUILTY for something wrong I've done. I just can't... Is this some sort of psychological disorder? I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and psychosis a few years ago. I took meds for psychosis. I know this is something else. What's wrong with me?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2010): hey, you are quite emotional compared to me. hope you feel better now.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (15 May 2010):
 Lack of empathy is quite often associated to bipolar disorder in its manic phase,as well as irritability and a dominant feeling of anger.
Talk to your therapist about this problem, he should be able to help you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2010): My ex girlfriend has bi-polar disorder and I always felt that she was pretty insensitive and un-empathetic, but who knows, she probably felt the same way about me. Let me say this though... Don't fake emotions, its like faking orgasms. It may seem like a good idea at the time, until it gets found out... Everybody is unique, don't try to be somebody that you're not. Just be yourself, but more importantly, be happy with who you are. Research bi-polar disorder on the internet, it may not be traits that you want to hear yourself associated with but it may help you realize why you think the way that you do. Are you taking meds for bi-polar? I could always tell when my ex was off her bi-polar meds because she was much less likely to arc up and get angry quickly, however she said that they made her feel like a zombie. Also, is this actually a problem for you? As in what is bothering you the most and do you want to change or do you just feel like you should to fit in?
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (15 May 2010):
 I am not a doctor, and believe you should ask the person who diagnosed you these questions. But here's my thoughts on what you've said.
"I haven't blocked out negative emotions either since anger is very dominant in me." Having anger doesnt prove a full range of feelings. Anger is one feeling. Negative feelings in total can be uncountable.
You appear to be unattached. Why do you have a boyfriend? Why do you have friends? Is it because of feelings you have for them, or feelings they give you that you enjoy? Are you with them for them or for you?
You appear to lack an array of emotions. I first thought maybe you can't feel empathy because you don't have enough life experience. Not all of us can naturally put ourself in the shoes of others, and must have been in a similar situation in order to feel sympathy and have empathy. But the lack of guilt makes me think you simply lack a certain set of emotions. You are "numb" in a way?
Usually people who dnt have empathy and lack an array of emotions, prefer to be alone. That is why I ask why you have your friends and your boyfriend? But this could be a good question to ask a professional.
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