A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I found out my boyfrind of almost 2 years has been goong on skype to talk and masturbate with a girl he met in a sex chat room. I kicked him out, but then we talked and knowing his history, decided to take him back and go to counseling. I love him and I want things to work out, but I need another opinion on if I'm doing the right thing or if I should move on with my life. I've been in relationsjips before where I was cheated on. He knew this, but tells me he has alot of issues and insecurities he hasn't dealt with and needs to, and agrees to get counseling. His reasoning is that he grew up throughout childhod and high school 300 lbs, which is true, he was very insecure and didn't have any type of sexual or intimate relations with girls bc of his weight, so he would go into chatrooms to feed his desires. Then, the first year we were together, he is now 25, we had 2 abortions. He says this effected him more than expected. It's true, the stress of the situation effected both of us and our sex went from amazing to boring, probably bc we were both so freaked out by me getting pregnent so easily. I was unhappy too and didn't tel him, nor did he tell me. So he went back to going into chat roms 4 months ago to feed his desires. I told him we all have issues and insecurities, but he can't just not tell me and go behind my back on the internet. He could have asked me to be included, i'd be open to it. He said he was ahsamed and felt shamkeful so he didn't tell anyone. He grew up being told sexual things like that were dirty and wrong. I told him the problem wasn't that he likes porn, it's that he took it too far when it became a live interaction with another person through skype. Should I stick it out with him and we go to counseling to deal with everything that we haven't dealt with? Or just move on? Do you think what he did is forgivable?
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abortion, chat room, insecure, move on, porn, the internet Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionBut is what he did forgivable?
A
male
reader, Universe Man +, writes (19 May 2011):
He's not having sexual interactions with other girls because he's emotionally scarred. He's doing it because it's fun. Maybe he kept it a secret because he's emotionally scarred, or because he thought you'd leave him if he knew. If you're open to being included in such things, there's your answer. Any sexual thing that he knows he can share with you without losing you, he'll do it, because including your lover in it makes it better.
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