A  ,
anonymous
writes:heya, im a student and im in an immpossible situation, it would be great to get some advice as to what to do.im a student, and there are four of us in my house. 2 men and 2 women. the other girl and guy fell in love and were in a relationship for about 2 years at uni, im a lesbian and ive always felt very strongly about this girl, but never told her i liked her.last year i told her that i was gay and since we have become closer and closer but this year me and my female housemate started spending practically all our time together, getting on incredibly well, and a few months ago she told me that she has a crush on me- at the time she made it into a big deal saying she didn't know what to do, and needed to find out, and was so tempted. (but apparently im the only girl she has ever fancied- shes straight)then a week later i decided to be honest about how much i liked her, so i told her... but then we have never talked about "us" since, we still spend all our time together, and still flirt all the time, then she split up with her boyfriend about a month ago, and apparently she is much happier without him, but she still loves him.but when i asked her if anything would ever happen between us she said she doesn't think anything will ever happen because she doesn't want to ruin our friendship and, i should find someone to make me happy and she is being selfish. (also im her best friend so she needs me to support her, i don't think she would be happy at uni without me)but if i distance myself a bit or stop flirting she starts flirting even more, and gets jelous when i talk about other women.what shall i do?its very hard, because me her and her ex live together still, so we can't just move on, but i care about her soooo much, and think i have fallen head over heals in love with her, how can i get her to give me a chance, or even just hav a kiss (we have never kissed) -I think it is worth the risk to see what would happen between us and i know she said never- but i don't believe her, i know shes tempted... if there was no chance i could move on, but i can't move on while i think there's a chance, (and i love her so much its getting me down) what shall i do...?
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best friend, crush, fell in love, flirt, her ex, lesbian, move on, split up Reply to this Question
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female
reader, mommyofthree +, writes (13 December 2005):
 I can see why you are so confused about what to do here. Because she is not a lesbian, there may not be a way to do anything with out putting your friendship in great jeapordy. What seems like flirting to you may be how she interacts with her close friends, play fighting, tickling, and joking around could all be perfectly normal in a friend relationship. Her jealous behavior when you talk about other women may not be a sign that she wants you in a sexual way but feels they could come between your friendship. I feel like in order to not ruin the friendship the safest course of action would be to tell her how you feel, that will cetainly traumitize her less than a huge kiss when she is not expecting it. Ask her if she would mind if you kissed her once and take it from there.
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