A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been going out with my girlfriend for a couple of months now but have known her for years. The problem is one of her ex's. I was friends with her when they first broke up (5 years ago) and she was absolutley devestated, since then she's had a few relationships which havn't lasted, and because we were friends she'd tell me it was because she was still in love with her ex. About six months ago she started seeing her ex again, but he dumped her for her best friend. Again she was absolutley devestated. Not long after that she started saying she had feelings for me. We started dating as a couple and things are generally ok. However, she is still friends with her Mate who was seeing her Ex and whenever she talks about them, or more particularly him she becomes really emotional, practically on the verge of tears.I've asked her if she still has feelings for him, which she denys. But deep down i think she has. I don't want to be second best to anyone and it rankles with me, especially as i know all the history. I really like her, feel as tho i'm falling in love. I want to believe her, but am i kidding myself? is this doomed to failure over her ex? Is she using me to get over him/ or try to? I dunno what to think. Please help
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2007): I don't know but she talks alot about him , when he walks past us , she stares at him . But i do think she is trying
A
male
reader, DJ8433  +, writes (29 August 2007):
 I wouldn't let your heart get to close to this one. Be ready for her to pull out at any moment if she's unhappy. It sounds like you may be a rebound. If you two aren't fighting or arguing excessively then everything should be cool. I speculate whether she is "in-love" with you though. If your o.k. with the way things are then hang with it. I do suggest you take a very strong male role however. Don't give her a chance to control your life. You're in the drivers seat on this one, and I think she expects it too.
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A
female
reader, LiLLy-aNnAbELLe  +, writes (29 August 2007):
ooh bummer.sounds to me like u already know the answer to your own question.i think that ur gf still has feelings for her ex but she knows that nothing will come of it so she is willing 2 move on and hopes that u will take his place.
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