A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have a female friend who is friends with a guy who has a girlfriend. He and his GF have been together for a long time.My friend went through a thing where she was really low on self-esteem and flirted with this guy a lot and tried to get him to leave his girlfriend. He would flirt back and do nice things, but would never say anything like "I like you". He would sometimes give her way too much attention and sometimes ignore her.I don't know the extent of what happened, but a bunch of shit went down, he professed his love and got really creepy, she turned him down because he has a girlfriend (of course!) and he's not "allowed" to talk to her any more because of his girlfriend.She said "fine" and went on her way, then got broken up with by a different guy she was seeing and went emailing this other dude again! I tell her she's into him, but she says "like that would work", but she keeps on talking to him behind the girlfriend's back!She insists they are only good friends, but the dude's GF is out of town this weekend and they are going out together to "hang out" secretly!It's none of my business, but it doesn't seem right to me! The guy seems like a piece of shit for lying to his girlfriend and hanging out with my friend and why would my friend go with him? Would you women meet a guy who had lied to his GF to be with you just to "hang out" and "be friends"?I think my friend is setting herself up for another blow to her self-esteem.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2010): Thanks. I just don't get why she would spend time with a guy who can only hang out with her secretly when his girlfriend is out of town.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (5 April 2010):
You bet she's setting herself up. He still has the girlfriend, which means he'll just use your friend. That said, she needs to make her own mistakes. You're a male, so you know how he will be thinking. He'll use her. But if she won't listen, then it's her problem. Just be a good friend and be ready with your shoulder for when it goes wrong, which it will.
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