A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have a girl, soon to be ex girl I guess, who Ive been with for about 5.5 years. We've had up and down romance for the entire time, I cheated on her about two years ago which she found out, and left me then took off to the other side of the country. I didnt mind at first as I thought ah well If I cheated on her I mustnt feel that strongly and should end it anyway. After a period I realised she was my everything and I nearly went mad without her. I kept in contact and thought it was all over until she invited me to her and we ended up patching things up. It was great after a period and I was happy... until now.On the weekend i went fishing with a the friend while she stayed late at a bar which is unusual, I came home two days later where she confirmed she cheated on me and wants to break up. This came from nowhere, last week we were making plans to go overseas, buy houses and she was always telling me she loved so much. Anyway Ive asked her how can this all turn badly so quickly to which she informed me its been building for a while and Im not giving her what she needs and we're just different people. I dont get it as we have a house, dog and boat together and plans for the next ten years or so, an I didnt see it coming. Ive tried to reconcile but she says its over. ive moved out to give her time, she says she loves me but its just not enough anymore, I can see in her eyes she's not sure and really how can she be?My question, is do I bother to pursue? There is still much love in the relationship and I think I can forgive the cheating bit as it was a drunken one off, and everyone makes mistakes... as I did. I love her so much and want her back, I loved our life beforehand and want it all back. I've told her that, but its always met with the same reply, please help.. We've overcome evrything in the past, can we do it again or is this just too much?She's 8 years younger than me, is she just over me and finding a way out, or guilt ridden with what shes done and this is how she is dealing with it?Please Help
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2008): It seems very confusing, but maybe you need to give her some space. Explain to her how you feel and that you are forgiving her, but allow her time to forgive herself, and to find herself.
Emmet Fox said: " It makes no difference how deeply seated may be the trouble, how hopeless the outlook, how muddled the tangle, how great the mistake. A sufficient realization of love will dissolve it all".
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