A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:There's a girl that I get on with extremely well but I'm not sure if she is hinting she wants to take it to the next stage.We both used to work for the same company. As we both had jobs that meant travelling around the country (most people at the firm didn't) and we were both more international than most of our colleagues, we shared an outlook on life that became obvious over time.Last year when my ex left me, she stood by me, offered support and we went out for a meal to take my mind off things. Since that evening, we kept in regular contact outside of work, meeting up for a chat over dinner or the cinema most weeks.Over time, she started confiding in me details of her dilemma with her current boyfriend (how her relationship is etc...) and I've always offered impartial advice from a male perspective without any ulterior motives. Whenever I've mentioned our meetings to friends, they've constantly suggested that I should move things on another stage and I've always shrugged the suggestion off.However, several events have occured recently that have caused me to question whether my friends could be right.Firstly, our meetings were always secretive so not to fuel office gossip. Last month, I left my job to return to education and in my final week, she 'accidentally' disclosed our out-of-work meet-up's to her manager. She later suggested that she would find any rumour about to two of us funny.Since I left, she's kept in regular contact as we did before. Then at our last get-together, over dinner she said in conversation that there were two 'hot' people at work and I was one of them, after dinner she started asking if I think she should end her relationship as although she has fun with him she cannot see it going anywhere. Shortly after that, she asked me why she never see's me flirting with anybody and then in the lobby of the hotel she was staying in (I was staying in a town an hour away but drove over to meet her), she made a joke that I should sleep at the hotel but as I just smiled, the subject changed and we chatted until 1am when we hugged and she went to bed.I value her friendship extremely highly and don't want to damage it in any way but I do find her attractive and I'm not sure if all these things I've mentioned do actually suggest that she is interested or it's just friends. What do you think; am I reading too much into nothing or am I totally blind to the ways of women!?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2009): I am a woman and even I have a hard time reading her motives. It seems like there are a lot of hints being dropped but hints toward what exactly, I don't know. To be quite honest, her behavior seems to be of the gaming sort...to see if you bite. If you really like this girl, I recommend putting her on the spot the next time she offers some sexual innuendo or flirts with you. Just say, "Look, _____, where is this going? What do you mean by that?" She will probably be a little stunned you put her on the spot and she might try to deflect. DON"T LET HER GET AWAY WITH IT!Your feelings are very valuable and significant and if she doesn't have any intention of being with you, you need to know that now and not be busy worrying about it for months and months. Just ask. Good luck.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2009): Sounds like you two definately have a connection. Maybe she's waiting for you to make the first move. I'm in a similar situation and don't want to embarrass myself if he doesn't feel the same way. If he made a move, I'd love it, but I won't due to the fact that I don't know his feelings. So, I say turn the flirting up a little higher, get a little closer next time, be a little more touchy/feely and see if she gets a glint in her eye. Be a little bolder, and she may get a little bolder and you may come together and see fireworks.
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