A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Long story!!Me and my gf have been together for 3 years now, and always been happy together till last summer.firstly, a while back, last summer, her pops was v. ill and needed looking after. She concentrated her efforts on him (too right) in nursing him. Obviously she didn't really have time for me. when she did see me during this peroid, she was cold and unfeeling. I didn't get any affection from her, kisses felt colder. I put that down to her father, so I didnt have much problem with it.As I wasn't gettin much time and affection from her I started to seek more friendship from people, basically to distract the lack of feelings from her. I wanted to go out with work friends more as she wouldn't go out with me (she has other sisters to look after her pops so she could do it). Being used to seeing her everyday, at that period, I was seeing her once every 4 days which is quite hard as id come home from work and stay in, when we used to go out all the time.Long story short, I was going through some things with my father as well as a woman from work, we'd discuss and share problems, she was a cool, on the level gal.Anyway, I went to a work do, she invited me, I told my gf I was going to a work do, no need for her to come out as i wasnt stayin there for long. got to the place, no work peeps were there. I ask where were they, and she'd reply that they're on their way type of thing. Anyway we got drinking and i got pretty drunk. the only things i remember is that i went to her flat, 2 mins away from the club, to vomit in her toilet. i passed out. the next thing i remember was, i somehow was in her bedroom and she was undoing my belt, ie taking advantage of me. I realised what happened and pushed her off me, went to the toilet and passed out again.I woke up next morning realising i was in her house, so i left double quick and gave her a call saying i had just left her house and on my way home.Obviously, she was upset. next day, we sat and talked about it, sorted it out, spoke to each and every member of her family about it, apologising and explaining what happened. i did this as im serious about her, so i dont really care about being on trial infront of her family, but i wanted to get across that I did not give affection or my body to this work gal, i was taken advantage of.-------2nd part, recently, she went to this soca club with her sisters, i'm not a soca fan so i passed. she called me to let me know she was on her way back home (about 2 in the morning) and i could tell she way drunk. when she got home, she called me to tell me good night, i asked her how much she drunk, from what she told me, she could not be as drunk as she was. She was lying to me about how much she drunk. The next day i went onto her facebook page and found a friend request from some guy, the message he sent was iin my opinion, over-friendly. I confronted her about it, she said it was one of the organisers from the club for carnival.A couple weeks later i decided to go to this club, mainly to meet this dude. we arranged to meet in the club as i had training earlier. she said to me, "call me when your on your way, ill meet you outside"?!For what reason? i played dumb and said ok. I got there, she was outside waiting for me, blah blah blah. Ok when we were inside the club dancing, i could tell she was on guard, not really letting do and expressing herself, not drinking as much too. About an hour later, i saw her lookin at some dude and then look away nervously, i asked her, "thats the dude right?" she played slighly dumd saying that she didnt see him, but i know it was him, i can tell from her reaction and what he looks like from his facebook page. i asked to getta intro to him from my gf, she said it was cool.Somehow, 1 of her chatty sisters mentioned how he was flirting with her, then started on my gf. i was going mad as i asked my gf to tell me everything that happened that night, so i wouldnt find out anything unexpected. she saw i was getting upset/angry so she started getting more nervous (i saw facial expressions i have never seen b4). i asked angrily "i wanna see this ^$"$% and now, introduce me now!" it was a demand.She point blank said to me "no", because she didnt like the way i asked. i demanded some more, she refused, so i said " and %$ and ^it, i'll introduce myself."i went loooking 4 him for 5 mins, couldnt find him, so i went back to where we were. my gf wasnt there, i asked the sisters where she was, they told me she was outside.i went outside, and i found her talkin to him, v. nervously. so i went to them, introduced myself to the dude and i questioned him to see what he was about. he was nervous (voice quivered) as well as she. After a brief convo, i went off. she followed. i was maddened at the fact that she wouldnt give me an intro to some guy who was flirting with her when i was mad, but then wanted to introduce me to him when i saw then talkin outside 5 mins later.What do you all think?
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cheated on me, drunk, facebook, flirt, period Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, shandygirl  +, writes (11 July 2008):
 WOW! You almost wrote a BOOK! ha ha ... I am teasing.
It sounds to me as though possibly she hasn't or isn't cheating... but maybe interested in this guy. Or they HAVE become friends and she didn't introduce you to him because she didn't want a physical confrontation to break out, and she doesn't want either one of you to get hurt or end up in jail.
You need to calmly talk to her and get some feedback about this situation.
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (11 July 2008):
 In my opinion, the gal could be cheating on you... but she could also be buddies with the fella and be a little nervous for him that you'll flip out on him. Maybe she just didn't handle the situation very well. Yes, maybe he's been flirting and maybe he's known that she has a boyfriend. And maybe upon seeing you, he knew that you'd be pissed at all the friendliness and maybe he thought that YOU'D think that she was cheating with him.
I just think that if we heard her side of the story, it could clear up a lot of these unanswered questions and from just reading what you've provided, I'm not ready to believe that she is really cheating on you. Not to say she isn't, she may be. However, I think that we're jumping to conclusions that may not necessarily be true.
Good luck, sweetness!
xx India
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