A
male
age
30-35,
*ewhocorruptsinc
writes:In 2009 I met this girl whose boyfriend lived in Korea for about 6 months, during that time her and I got extremely close. She ended up having an extremely nasty breakup with her before 2011 and we started talking again and we hooked up immediately. We both talked about our feelings for each other that were so stong while she was dating her ex but unfortunately while her and I started dating both of us had gotten out of serious relationships and it just never worked outThroughout 5 months of seeing her with many difficulties we both decided to call it off. She admitted later on that she was still hung up on her ex and so was I. I cut off a lot of contact with her because last time we decided to break up we ended up having sex a few days later and got back together. and now a year later I have texted her, explaining to her why I did stopped talking to her until I checked her fb and realized that she had just started dating someone. She messaged me back not saying much, and did not mention that she is in a relationship..She never used to talk to me much when she was in a relationship because she told me it used to tear her apart anytime she talked to me, so I'm wondering if shes not telling me she is dating someone because she still has feelings for me? I think about her alot and I knew she used to also.
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male
reader, no nonsense Aidan  +, writes (8 May 2012):
I don’t know why she came to the restaurant. Maybe she did want to see you, maybe she just likes that restaurant, maybe she didn’t think you’d be there, or maybe she wasn’t concerned either way. Whatever the reason, I don’t think my advice to you would change. Of course there’s always a chance you’ll bump in to her, or some-one in her family or circle of friends, and yes, be polite and friendly-why not? But there’s a world of difference between being polite, and having regular contact. You do still need to put that distance between you and not go out of your way to contact each other, so that you can both move on from this relationship, which did not work out. Going your separate ways doesn’t mean never venturing in to the same space as the other person, it just means not trying to keep up contact and making a point of being near that person for the sake of being in their presence.
A
male
reader, hewhocorruptsinc +, writes (8 May 2012):
hewhocorruptsinc is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks so much dude! Believe it the day after I wrote this, she came at my work where I work as a server. (AND SHE KNOWS WHERE I WORK) She dined in with her sister so I was obviously obliged to go say hello, her sister was polite and my ex did have some small talk with me but wasn't too into the conversation. While I walked by and did my job her sister would smile at me while the other wouldn't even bat much of an eyelash at me. So then I politely ask why do you think she would come to my restaurant and eat the day after I text her?
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A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan +, writes (6 May 2012):
It sounds like you both substituted a new relationship for dealing properly with your past, and rebound relationships are not based on a secure footing at all. She probably didn’t tell you about dating some-one else because you cut off contact. She realised that you’d decided that only by moving on and going your separate ways could you make the break from this failed relationship, and she decided to do likewise. So why should she then tell you that she’s dating some-one else? There doesn’t seem to be any way back for you as a couple, so perhaps you need to stop the contact again. She’s moved on and you need to do the same. Wish each other well and agree to go your separate ways.
I wish you all the very best.
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