A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my girlfriend for 1 year and 3 months. I have eaten her out and she has given me a blowjob. We've been doing stuff like this for a while now but for some reason its just now that she decides that she doesn't feel right doing it and she doesn't want to.. I wouldn't have had a problem if she just wasn't ready to begin with but the fact that we did both a few times and that shes just now deciding she doesn't want to troubles me a bit. I don't know what it is... It really makes me upset. It makes me scared to bring sexual subjects up with her... I really don't think it should be like that. She's my best friend and i don't want to upset her. But then again i don't want to be upset myself. I'm not sure what she's going through but its really bothering me. And i don't want this to drive us to do something stupid. I think sexual things in a relationship is just as important as talking and sharing feelings. But it really feels like she's just not attracted to me in any way. She never does sexual things and it's like she just wants to talk most of the time. i don't have a problem with that but why is it that she's all of a sudden not even sexually attracted to me anymore. No, shes not on her period because this has been going on for about a month and a few weeks or so. I don't understand. I don't think i did anything wrong... what should i do?
View related questions:
best friend, blow-job, period Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2009): HelloFirst of all, I have been through similiar stories as this one. One of them was after a long relationship and thus eventually very painful. Looking back, I think it was a very precious experience. I became a lot tougher and since then I havent really been through any relationship pain anymore. In a this sense I became a man. So now you might think why I am telling you this and not answering your question. Here comes the moral: You need to grow up! Forget that girl! Seriously, if she is not all over you in the beginning of your relationship it will never get better. You will just get more attached to her and the inevitable crash will be so much harder. I see the replies you get are all female autors and they basically say you should talk to her and be patient. As a guy, I tell you that will NOT work! Woman, are never attracted to the nice guy who talks to them and tries to find out what their problem is. Those guys always become their best friend, but certainly not their lovers!The best you can do now is not talking to her about it, but to break up. It takes a lot of courage and it will hurt. Altough isnt that what we generally a real man would do?! I know it is hard, and to tell you the truth in that crucial relationship of mine that I mentioned in the beginning, I also didnt do it. But now I regret that.Now you will think if you stay with her there is a chance that it will improve. But if you break up, you wont be in danger of becoming just her best friend. You will be the guy in her life that has enough self esteem to know that he can find another girl that he likes. Trust me she will admire this. She will see your confindence and will suddenly want to have that great (confidence is the killer weapon) guy back and (thats the best thing!) she will be all over you. Attraction is not something you can produce by talking, it is a deep feeling that can not be influenced consciously! She is not attracted to you now: as much as she even would want to be, she will never be. Unless, you change your behaviour as I wrote above. Then things will change.You have the choice learn it by yourself (the painful way) or follow my advice and you can only win. Take care
A
female
reader, ina baybee  +, writes (10 January 2009):
 i think that she isz bored off all the ussual sex that you quysz doo! personally, i think that you should ask her what she would like forr once & juss plesure her for a whole niqht soo she can see that you still care about her sexual feelinqsz.
qood luck!
-ina baybee
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2009): Yes..communication is crucial as suggested by the below Aunties. Communicate honestly and from your heart with her. It sounds like this relationship may be getting complacent and you need to cut back on the 'sex' thing and work on the non-sexual aspects of your relationship with her, before focusing only on sex. Hard to do, isn't it. But if you don't, you may lose her. I really, really think she's feeling a bit objectified, because your posting talks a lot about the sexual aspects. She needs to talk, to build a non-sexual connection to you, as well. Meaning, that you should share more time, and emotions, have fun and enjoyment with her, talk more, improve communication, and start being emotionally intimate with her, all this would rekindle the sexual desire and feelings in her. But if you keep getting upset because she ain't giving you your quota of blowjobs...then you will lose her for good. No woman will tolerate being treated in such a way. Please remember, Sex is not just about attractiveness, its also about the mutual fun, the couple has. It's about sharing times spent just talking, cuddling and laughing. Try that first and see where it goes from there. Good luck, dear
...............................
A
female
reader, lovestolaugh13 +, writes (10 January 2009):
i think maybe, if you are a teenager.. and so is she that girls just sometimes go through things like this. i myself had a boyfriend and we did stuff like that but reality hit me and i just like growing up is such a confusing time, you try to change who you are and you are never happy with yourself. the talking is always going to help but its also really important that you communicate with her and let her know how you are feeling. its really good that you and fine with the talking its something every girl looks for in a boy and i think that if you tell her how you are feeling but say it in a way that lets her know that the sexual things aren't important to you that you are just worried. because if it comes down to the fact that she isn't actually sexually attracted to you anymore it could just be a fase and you can help her work through it. communication from both people is the key to any good relationship, and its so good that you guys are already talking. so the best you can do for yourself is not to worry and to keep your head high. maybe she is going through a tough time and doesn't feel comfortable talking about it. and don't push her too but let her know you are there.
...............................
|
