A
male
age
41-50,
*saac800
writes:Dear Cupid,I need help with handling a relationship situation.I recently met an american, latina girl in Pennsylvania. She just came back from visiting the University I attend in South Africa. I am an african from South Africa. We are both working in geology and geophysics(me) but at different levels. I am doing grad studies at the University she visited in South Africa, she's a final year undergrad student at Caltech in LA. The first time we looked at each other, there was some attraction between us. We kept looking at each other, making eyes, sometimes she'd react negatively with her eyes when I got to talking to her friends, like surprised. Sometimes she'd stand up and stretch her muscles and look at me, and I was looking at her and we'd both turn our eyes away. I never had the courage to approach her until the day before her departure for California, leaving me in Pennsylvania. I waited for her in the corridor, as she was coming, I stopped her. We chatted a bit. She told me she had sort of a boyfriend but things were shaky and she didn't know when she'd be married. I gave her a postcard that I bought for her and also gave her a strong letter of my feelings (written in portuguese and it was about a full page and half). I asked her to read it when she'd be in the plane, she took it and promised to do so. On the letter I wrote my phone number, this might have been a mistake. She asked me if I had a facebook, I said no, I didn't do facebooks, but I promised her to sign up and send her an email. She asked me if we could hug, I agreed, we hugged and said goodbye. We continued looking at each other attractively while in the office and she said goodbye before leaving. The other thing I might be 7 years older than her.But since she went she never contacted me again. I send her an email from her facebook, she never replied. I enquired from the secretary, they gave me her number, I called her, she was surprised to hear that it was me, she asked me how I got her number I told her. I sent her a text message, she didn't reply. Yesterday, I tried to phone her, the phone rang three times and then got cut off...Why do you think she can't reply to my mails, answer the phone, or send me a text message or phone to tell me that she doesn't want anything to do with me? I'd be happy and move on with my life...or does she want me to try harder, I can do that also?Must I wait for her to rest a bit or must I keep on contacting her?Please advise me.Isaac
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2010): I'm sorry man but she is giving you the "silent"-treatment until you stop... She is not (wo)man enough to tell you she is not interested. She does not answer phone calls, e-mails, texts, etc... I'm sorry, but she is not interested. Stop thinking about her... let it go.
Best of luck.
A
female
reader, fishy fish  +, writes (12 August 2010):
Hello isaac, without any doubt the girl is attracted to you, from what you wrote about how you look at each other, she seems upset and rolls her eyes when you chat with her friends, she surely likes you , however she was very straightforward with you telling you about her boyfriend and situation, therefore you should stop showing any sign of care, you already spoke to her, wrote her a letter, got her number from the secretary (which you shouldn't have) , the girl has certainly issues and can't squeeze you in her life before sorting it out. You threw the ball in her court and now it's her time to react, stop pushing it and her otherwise she'll think you're some kind of a clingy stalker. You showed care now show respect.
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A
female
reader, Black diamond20 +, writes (12 August 2010):
Issac that is very scary to contact someone with them giving you their number she doesnt want anything to do with you besides i would think you are a stalker if you did that to me and that hug at the airport that was just to be nice and she told you she was in a realtionship leave her alone that scares a womwn away when you try so hard try not to be so needy when talking to women take things slow ok you will find someone .ps ..dont act so needy okay bye!
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