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Is she making lame excuses?

Tagged as: Faded love, Long distance<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (7 October 2009) 4 Answers - (Newest, 7 October 2009)
A male United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

My long distance gf doesn't call me the way she used to. I thought she is having problem. I wait and being there for her to talk to.

Months passed. Things get worse. If she missed my call, she doesn't call back. The last time she called, is a month ago.

I talked to her about this. She said she doesn't have the calling card with her. For me, that is a lame excuse because if she really want to, she will have the card.

I am worried because she doesn't even email or chat with me. What do you all think? Thanks

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2009):

I don't think I can talk to her because she doesn't pick up my call. Later when we met online, sometimes she will acknowledge the missed call saying, the call is hang up as soon as she answered.

See how ridiculous it is? By saying that I feel funny because someone at thirties would use reason that even kid knows strange. At the same time, I feel sad because I really need her to be in my life.

Even online, she only talk few words and say she want to bed. We are kind of in no contact, can't she make little time to talk to me? I know if I voice this out, she will say, didn't I talk to you online?

I am sorry to here the poster before me experience the similar situation like me. I understand how it feels on the side who loves more.

Thank you everyone.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2009):

I am in a long distance relationship and faced a very similar situation.

I handled it on a long conversation. I think you need to set up a talk date with her where you call or she calls but you guys talk.

Don't assume that she is not interested but be prepared to let her go. If you feel calling cards are an excuse, ask her for the underlying reason. In my case, it was simply that he did not know how to deal with long distance frustration and answered it by immersing himself in work.

But he was honest and I gave him every opportunity to walk out on the relationship even out of sheer boredom.

Just one suggestion, when you do talk, be calm, don't display anger. You want to understand her, since it is obvious that she is doing something that is not acceptable. So don't let her turn it into your need.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2009):

She is well paid and there is no reason she couldn't afford the cards.

I told her I felt ignored. I said something I wish her to call, maybe few days once, so that I know I still exist in her life. She said she is too busy to buy the cards. I don't want to argue with her because without cards, she can still email.

Everyday, I wait her to online. When she finally come, she say few words and went offline. I don't know if she is invisible.

In my opinion, she is handling this poorly. She is about my age and why not she chose to talk this over?

Thanks for the advices

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A female reader, HereAreMyTwoCents United States +, writes (7 October 2009):

HereAreMyTwoCents agony auntYes, not having a calling card does sound like a lame excuse. And if she doesn't even email or chat with you, then she is probably losing interest. Unless her computer access is suddenly gone. And if that was the case, she should have been considerate enough to tell you that. Sorry, but from what you've said, any way you look at it, it doesn't sound good. If you still want to give her the benefit of the doubt, buy her a calling card, to see what happens, but if she accepts the offer, don't do this more than one time. Only do it ONE time, to find out her reaction, and see if she starts to call you more.

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