A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My husband and I have been tryign to spice up our sex life so we have watched porn and stuff to get osme ideas. We did a swing thign with a neighbour of ours. But my ultimate fanasy is a all male gang bang. How do I tell him that I REALLY REALLY want this.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2009): This is something very serious when you take it to this level. You both might really be into it and want it to happen, but afterwards everything could change. If you want it so bad, you might want it even more and more and not care about your husbands wants. And he may feel useless and not happy with the thought of all these guys having his wife. If anything I say you show him some porn of a gang bang and see what he thinks of it. You two really need to talk it through and make sure you are both comfortable. Also see what he really wants. If you want him to appease you with this, you should do the same for him. Utimitaly I think you should just try to spice things up between each other and forget about having sex with other people. If you love each other and are sexually attracted to each other, you shouldnt want to be with anyone else.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2009): Only do it if you boh want it, express to your husband you want one. If he is open to swinging , he may be open to group. But remember once it is done , there is no going back. My ex girlfriend and I had a gang bang with 5 other guys besides myself. We watched porn and both agreed we would like it, in the moment I loved it, loved watching her face , her expressions during all of it. A couple of days later when reality hit I couldnt look at her the same. I couldnt kiss her , sex was just out of the question, even though I agreed to it too I blamed her saying she degraded herself to a low. Our relationhsip ended because of it. So really think if this is what you REALLY want.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2009): Not even 30 yet and sex is dull??First of all don't do it! I had a gang bang with my guy friend and some of his teammates. He was my booty call for years and after sex we would often talk about fantasies we had. He thought he was doing a good thing by bringing a group of guys over my apartment one night when I was feeling really horny.I made sure that they all wore protection and I was on the pill so I was pretty confident that I would not get pregnant or a STD. I thought that was the worse that could happen. Boy was I wrong! I won't lie, the sex was amazing. I had so many multiple orgasms that night, and I tingled all over after the last guy finished. In my post orgasmic stupor, I stupidly agreed to do it again with them another time.Word got out to their friends and I had strange men stopping by my apartment, texting me, phoning me, even groping me in bars and nightclubs because they thought I was open for business or some kid of a sex deviate. The guys were relentless. It ruined my life and I had to move across the country to get away from it.I cannot imagine that it would not ruin your marriage. Forget about it. Don't do it!!
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A
male
reader, NightLad +, writes (7 October 2009):
 Before you proceed, I suggest you read this post-from-the-past: Gangbang..who is the daddy? (http://www.dearcupid.org/question/gangbangwho-is-the-daddy.html)
If you are absolutely sure this is something you want to go through with, I would foremost advocate the use of protection. Preferably more than one variety.
As to asking your husband; if he is amiable to participating in swinging, than he is clearly open to alternative sexual practices. Why not simply ask him what he thinks of the idea, and if he seems interested, mention that it is something you might like to try. Perhaps view some movies featuring this setting and see if he is as turned on by it as you are.
However, the deeper issue I’d raise is what to do if it is something he does not support. Have you two discussed boundaries and what to do if one of you wants to go someplace the other does not? If you haven’t than now might be a good time.
I hope this helps.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2009): Look Im sorry but, you need to ask yourself here do you really want.
What really really turns you on at the moment is having sex with a lot of other men. I think you are apprehensive about asking your husband as he may feel that this means you dont want him or that what you and he has is not really that special.
I cant help you there , but if my wife said that was what she really wanted then that would be it, itd be over.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2009): Next time you talking about sex, just drop it in, but add that you dont mind him having an all female gangbang if he wants to try it too.
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