A
male
 ,
anonymous
writes:hi I am wondering if this problem I think I may have is normal.And why I think I may bring my relationship to an end.When having sex with my partner I feel as though I ejaculate to soon (sometimes less than a minute, some times less than five)however I have discussed this problem with her and she said not to worry and she isn't bothered by it. But we have sex for a second time and it does last a lot longer.I'm just wondering if it is a problem I have, is it normal and would she be lying about it not bothering her
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female
reader, xo_xo_xo  +, writes (25 June 2009):
I had a boyfriend of 8 years and he ejaculated exactly as you describe. No, it didn’t bother me AT ALL. I had an orgasm every time we had sex. He’d pleasure me orally until I cum or make me very close to cum and then it was enough time for me to get an orgasm during an intercourse but only in one position when I was on top.
What did bother me is that he always preferred to give me an orgasm through oral sex first and then have an intercourse. But at the time of intercourse I was not enjoying it that much because I was pretty much satisfied. But I did want to enjoy it at least sometimes, even for a short period of time, even if I didn’t have enough time to cum. But it felt amazing to f*** and get more and more exited, but as soon as I started moaning he’d cum right there, which I ABSOLUTELY didn’t mind, I loved him cumming while I was still aroused. But the problem was after he’s climaxed he felt so exhausted (and lazy :))and not interested any more in finishing up with me :) and did it more like a chore. So he avoided having sex like that as much as possible.
I am very much positive that your gf isn’t lying when says it doesn’t bother her. But I wouldn’t want you to fall into the same pattern when having sex every time. While it’s very common to pleasure a woman first it may become very boring for her if it’s always done in that pattern.
Also wanted to mention there is a bright side here as well. If she has an orgasm first (especially more than ones) she’ll be happy if you cum fast and not exhaust her ;)
p.s. sorry for so many details :) but it all seemed to be related to your situation.
A
female
reader, betty_black +, writes (25 June 2009):
 Theres a chinese herbal remedy that you spread on the tip of the penis that helps that, but my boyfriend uses it and it frustrates me that it takes him so bloody long to come!! Im sure your partner doesnt mind, my boyfriend apologises when he comes too quickly and i mean it when i say i dont care. Its the affection i love. And as the others have said as long as shes come at least once she wont care. Oh and you know shes come by the noises! Her orgasms will get louder and louder and then all of a sudden she'll stop and start breathing heavier instead, and probably push you away because it becomes too sensitive. Just go down on her or use your penis to stimulate the clitorous thats always a good one!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2009): If you are able to give her an orgasm, either with oral before intercourse or the second time you have sex in that session then I doubt that she is bothered by it. Also, if she occasionally doesn't have an orgasm, but you are affectionate and caring, then she probably doesn't mind those occasional events.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you for all your comments and satindesire you have a fair point... the only problem is i dont know how to tell if she has came
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2009): I suffered premature ejaculation several years ago, it is frustrating and my gf said it didn't bother her but i know it did several times.I used to give her oral sex and make her cum several times before we even had sex so i know that she was satified however long i lasted.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyea same session about 20 - 30 mins later .... after i ejaculate the 1st time it usualy takes about an hour or more after ... is this normal too?
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A
male
reader, Your friend  +, writes (25 June 2009):
 You could try a spray with 9.6% lignocaine I'm not sure about England but you might be able to get it at a phamacy there or possible a sex shop, if not try the internet. Don't over use it and in the beginning you might want to use a condom as it might also desenitise her as well.
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A
male
reader, Your friend +, writes (25 June 2009):
Its possible anxiety related and may also be linked to how long you have been with her etc. When you say the second time do you mean in the same session?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2009): It happens to all of us at some time, but like Samii says, as long as she gets an orgasm at some point, it won't bother her. Make sure you have plenty of foreplay, and if she gets an orgasm that way first she should be happy about it. The majority of women don't orgasm through penetrative sex alone, but if she does you've struck gold.
Only she knows if she's being economical with the truth about it not bothering her, but it's best to be honest with each other. I'm sure you'd rather know if you're not doing something right, rather than being ignorant about something she thinks you could do better to please her. We men are not mind readers, so tell her to let you know if there's something you can do to improve things for her if she's feeling a little let down.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwhat are some of these things that could help??
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