A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:I am a 66 year old male married to a woman 15 years younger,our relationship is becoming more and more strenuous.The main reasons are money and our sex life when it comes to money I feel that she spends way beyond her means.For exsample $2200.00 on a laser procedure to rid her stomach and neck area of wrinkles which I found unnecessary.When it comes to our sex life I have to be satisfied with a twice/month no frills encounter.My question is I am unreasonable to question her on the lack of restraint about spending,and suggest a more exciting love live from her.Her answer to the latter is that you just had it last month,and as far as engaging in oral stimulation that is a no no with her.I feel that I am only here to provide and be used as a comfort provider.I would appreciate any feedback.Plumbob
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2010): I think if you are not happy in your relationship you need to tell her and then you both need to go about your lives there are so many willing people out there to make others happy and to love there is no need staying in a relationship your not happy with and as far as living above and beyond her means a lot of women do that Im glad Im not one just decide what is more important and then take that step you are still young enough to have sexual wants and needs and Ill be damned if I would stay with someone that would only give it up every great once in awhile hell im 44 and want it all the time . but anyways good luck with you relationship ...;)
A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (30 June 2010):
 You don't actually mention how the rest of your marriage is. whether you work well together and spend time together, whether you have vacations together and can talk.
I think talking is the key. You have nothing to lose by telling her how you feel. Try not to get angry or upset. The more sensitively you handle and explain your feelings, the more chance you have of her listening. The spending issue is a delicate one. If you have never had a problem with her spending habits before, you can't really become such a miser now! but maybe think of things to spend your money on that will benefit you both. Something like a nice weekend away or a makeover for the garden.
She must be around 50, and sex for a lot of women of that age is also a sensitive issue. Their libido naturally calms down and, unlike men who are sexual into their old age, women often don't feel the need. If you love her, think of ways you can be intimately close without appearing too sexual. Be romantic, tell her she looks beautiful, buy her flowers, whisper sweet nothings again. You have to show displays of love for a woman to feel loved. Just requesting a 'blow job' will seriously turn her off.
I know this all sounds like hard work, but as long as your marriage doesn't have any real inherent problems (drinking, gambling, cheating or abuse) then I think there is room for improvement and ways to work on it for the better.
The age gap eventually might drive you apart, but older couples should apreciate eachother for the years spent together, for the companionship and for the love shared...Issues over money and sex can easily be overcome with understanding.
Talk to her!!!
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A
female
reader, Liza999 +, writes (30 June 2010):
Of course your not being unreasonable to question her lack of restraint and suggesting more of a love life. What you received as your answer to this seems to be a bit of a let down. Money and sex are the 2 main issues in most relationships regaradless of age difference. I think you will have to be a bit more firm in what your willing to pick up for her if she does spend beyond her means, BEFORE she does. Partnerships should provide comfort, but an equal exchange. Does she give to you in other ways? It is hard to know if she is taking advantage of you with the information given. Is this just a period of stress in the relationship or is it revealing a deeper truth about it that's not so honest? you will have to look at all the areas and go to your own gut feeling on this one.
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