A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am 40 married for 11 years now and have three kids.From the very first month me and my wife have issues. she is the lady who wants to be wanted. But htis is one way. I mean I want to be wanted by her but she rarely give me attention. I fulfil all her needs like money, help her with house work, kids with homework and so on. But she is never considerate. I have to call her for sex and she never touched me during sex. She enjoys the sex I give her but never make a move herself. Even sometimes she fights on petty issues and then stop conversating me and expects me to start it. expects me to love her. I have been doing this over the years but now I am exhausted of this one way traffic. I expects the same love from her. WHAT she is trying to do. Is she trying to get all the controls. Latest is when she shouts over me like hell, when I tried to teach my elder child and get a bit louder with him. Obviously I took notive of that and said she must not shout over me like that. But she never understands, she should not behave with her husband like this. Last night she send me a SMS on my cell saying " she is very much depressed and hopless from my side". Can you tell me what I have done bad. Was her shouting badly over me was right for her. I have tried to bring things in order but she does not listen. She has developed a habbit of showing others how merciful her life is, despite I have done a great deal for her and her family - who needed money for some cause. Her father has been out of family issues despite lived with them but did nothing for them. The controls of their family lied with their mother. Is she following the same rules as by ignoring me and trying to dictate me like her mother did to her husband. This could be true in her case but I am responsible and take care of the family well, even with the houshold works after office hours. Tell me does she love me or just staying here for the kids. She love all the three kids though. Please help how to get a better atmosphere. worried husband.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2007): Talk things through with her. Ask each other what you really want from each other and do listen to her as well as she have to listen to you. Communication is one of the keys to a successful relationship. Maybe working long hours while she is at home looking after the children can be a factor. Maybe you are not taking an active part in your childrens lives and she feels a resentment to wards you for who knows. TALK to each other and good luck.
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