A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i feel sooo stupid.my ex added me to his facebook but i couldnt take looking at his wedding pictures etc so i deleted the link.i became very depressed because i still had feelings for him so stupidly readded him. we had a bad split so although it was mutual i felt it was all my fault so wanted to apologise. anyway he accepted my readd and pretended he didnt know i deleted him-great !anyway there was a bit of small talk etc and then nothing for 3 weeks. then he emailed me out the blue at 2 in the morning ! asking how i was etc and that he couldnt sleep ! hes onl been married 6 months !. i felt a bit weird but stupidly replied the next day then heard nothing and got a reply at 1.30 in the morning. i started to feel like he was talking to me behind his wifes back. all i wanted to do was apolgise but i suppose i bacame weak after not talking to him for so long and it went on longer than it should. so the following night he emailed agin at 1.30 and i snapped and just poured my heart out and apologised to him and asked him to delete me as i couldnt be a friend to him so an hour later i was deleted. now i feel crap because the email i sent apologising to him was never replied to and also because he thought so little of me to email at these times. im very upset and confused i still have strong feelings for him and thought i was doing the right thing but it hurts that he thought so little of me he didnt even email to check i was ok
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthankyou rythum and blues
your answer was not only the best but the nicest-the other two answers are being quite hard as they have no sensitivity but you do thanx hun x
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2009): he's married to someone else - why should he be worried about your feelings? You need to butt out of his life altogether and move on.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2009): It seems to me that he did care enough to email you in the first place, he did want to see how you were most likely, and then when you poured your heart out he could see you felt badly about staying in touch, and he did what you asked and deleted you. He probably didn't reply because you said what you had to say and he had nothing to say back to you....he is married and he has a new life and he can tell you don't want anything to do with him, which is fine.
I think you still blame yourself for the break up and are depressed about him marrying before you did. Let it go, it isn't a race and it is no reflection on you or your past relationship at all. I know it doesn't feel good, but I hope you feel better after telling him how you were feeling. It's done, no need to feel like crap because he didn't email back....I mean the realtionship is over, what can he do to make you feel better? If it is an apology or if you want to hear him tell you what he liked about you in order to have some closure, then maybe email him again and ask for that. Don't expect an answer, but you could say you just would like to hear that so that you can have some closure to your awful break up as it was impossible to do at the time due to all the raw feelings, but since some time has passed you would like to hear those things from him, then wish him well in his new life.
His opinion and thoughts of you have no bearing on your self worth. I do understand how you want to hear him validate and appreciate and acknowledge you though, sometimes we just don't get that from the people we want it from the most. I believe it is their failing though, not the other way around. Usually really happy people can do that for someone else that they once cared about....so maybe his life is not as rosey as it appears or he doesn't feel as good about himself as he could in order to be kinder to you....that is my theory any way and I am sticking with it.
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