A
male
age
30-35,
*omOliver
writes:I ring my ex girlfirend (we have been broken up for just over a month we were together for a year and a half we broke up because I got drunk at her prom and embrassed her and we had a huge arguement). Well after txting her loads asking her to get bk with me (her response being I don't see you in the same then we way anymore. But other days she would she say maybe if we can still be friends we will get bk together and if you stop being stupid we will get bk together ). We've broken up before and she said if we ever broke up again we wouldn't get bk together. Anyway I ring her up and she agrees to have lunch with me and we go shopping and its great talking about the old days and she was touching my arm quite alot and telling me about her new hobby Samba and the revealing clothes she has to wear. Then she sent me a txt saying today was great we should do that again. But then she cancelled seeng me for lunch is this a huge hint does she want to get bk with me or does she just want to be friends
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2008): I must agree with Trish.. You should read her post carefully and involve yourself with other things. Who knows what will happen in the future, but you must back off, you can't pressure this girl into taking you back... Sorry babes, but that's how life goes.
A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (5 August 2008):
 I don't know, Tom, a month has gone by and she hasn't taken you back yet. She might not have been as into you as you thought, and the drunken scene was the excuse she'd been looking for to end it.
I mean, there's drunk, fall down the stairs, slur your words and pass out on the dance floor drunk. Then there's ugly drunk, where you seem to be looking for a fight or are saying awful things to people and show yourself to be mean or ignorant or somehow reprehensible.
The first kind of drunk might be forgivable quickly, the second kind, where you show an ugly side of yourself because the alcohol has removed the normal filters that keep you well-behaved, that second kind might be a love- and respect-killer.
All you can do is give it time. We don't know your girlfriend, or what she is thinking. You sound very pressured by this and that you want a definitive answer now. Seems to me her current stance is 'no.' If you push her too hard, you may push her right away. Give her a chance to miss you a little bit. Stay busy with your mates and maybe even chat with a few other girls. If she realizes she might lose you, this might crystallize her feelings for you and you'll know one way or the other.
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A
male
reader, TomOliver +, writes (5 August 2008):
TomOliver is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThnkas for the response's at the prom I got drunk and apparatnly made a right idiot of my self and then we had a huge argument. But our relationship was good she was really into me and it was strong
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2008): Hey Tom,
It's only been a couple of days. I know this thing has you going up the wall, but give her a little bit of time. She likes you, of course she does, she went out with you in the first place. But the drunken thing is a biggy. Don't worry, just keep doing the friendship thing. It's too early yet to find out how things will work out.
Trish is right, just what did you do at the prom? What was your relationship like before this, was you and her happy or was there other things you did to irritate her?
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (5 August 2008):
I think you're just going to have to be patient in this situation. There are two possibilities here. One, she does not want you back as a boyfriend ever, but is staying friends because she doesn't want to be mean or hurt you. The other possibility is that she may be considering taking you back, but she's biding her time until she's decided that you are trustworthy and respect-worthy.
What on earth did you do at that prom? You've posted on this situation a couple of times, and now you've got me curious. It was bad enough for her to break up with you, so maybe she's just had enough?
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A
male
reader, TomOliver +, writes (5 August 2008):
TomOliver is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the response please may I have more responses
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A
female
reader, Rouge fille +, writes (5 August 2008):
I think this is importnat what you want. If you decide to go for her, you can and she will accept you happilly if you demonstrate that you changed. Anyway good luck. Girls are like that. If you really, really want her back - DEMONSTRATE IT AND SHE WILL BE GREATFUL AND BACK!
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (5 August 2008):
 She certainly is sending you some mixed signals. Maybe she is unsure of what she does want herself. I'd just give it more time and see how things go.
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