A
female
age
51-59,
*iun
writes:Hi, I am 41 and in a relationship for over three years with an Irish man who is legally separated. He will be separated 4 years at the end of this year and will be applying for his divorce at that time, as is the Irish Law. I myself am divorced with 10 years from a marriage in the UK. He has asked me to marry him and I have accepted. We plan to get engaged at the end of this month. Is it ok to become engaged at this time, as we predict the divorce to be finalised early next year. Many thanks.
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female
reader, lexilou  +, writes (5 August 2008):
 If your partner and you are both comfortable with it then its fine and down to personal opinion.
Me and and my hubbie were trying for a baby before we married and he took me to paris for valentines weekend. I really expected a proposal and waited all weekend, nothing. i sulked all the way home and for about a week after. He asked what was wrong and I told him, his answer was I cant possibly get engaged as my divorce isnt finalised. I was like, hang on its ok to try for a baby and we already plan to get married next year anyway but you cant buy me a ring until your divorce is through, huh!!!?????
He quickly realised how silly it sounded but I respected his decision and after I became pregnant he did propose properly, we had already booked the wedding and I'd forgotten all about an engagement ring so at least he surprised me. So if hes happy to do it go for it!!!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2008): Engagement is not a Civic or lawful ceremony, just a promise between two people to marry eventually. The only consideration here is a moral one. Personally, I would wait 'til his divorce is absolute before making any public announcement. Up to you though.
Good luck.
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