A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I guesse a brief introduction will help you understand how commited I was to this girl...I had many opportunities with girls before and even during my relationship. I turned them all down straight away, as I felt that i wanted someone special to fall in love with and experience the physical side of a relationship, learn with someone special. If i was going to do it, i wanted it to be worthwhile, and fully commited to the love of my life. I am shy, and dont think much of myself, although many girls (friends) say that I am the type of man which does not exist anymore and quite a catch. I thought it was a miracle for this girl to come into my life. It was very difficult at first, she wasnt sure if she wanted a relationship, and needed a lot of emotional support. She did mess me around quite a bit but a gut instict told me that in time she would warm up as she had been through rough relationships in the past, and it would be worth while. Boy i was right, she was the best thing that ever happened to me. We were completely in love, and two years later we decided to move in together. I loved her family, they loved me, vice versa with mine. everything seemed perfect. There were a couple of things i wasnt happy with, but nobody is perfect...physically once every 4 months if i was lucky, although in some short periods early in the relationship it was a tad more normal. It was important to me, but i also believed that there is more to relationships than sex. I was extremely patient as she did not enjoy it and i understood that. She was quite possesive also...seeing friends was quite difficult and at times even family. I see this now, and its a lesson learned. In a way, we wanted to spend all our time together, and nothing else mattered. I love her more than anything, and if she was happy, so was I.In the last couple of months, things got hard with things such as work, she found a full time job and was starting a succesful career, and I guesse i became difficult to live with as a man being unemployed isnt great. I felt very low as i basically stayed home all day, but i did whatever i could to help, whether that be cooking..etc. I did work on the side just to help with what i could.All the sudden, She started saying things like she needed to see her friends (i never stopped her in the first place) and she felt tied down. she was confused, and needed time. On top of being down about work, this made me feel worse as i felt the relationship (what meant most to me in the world) was now in jeapordy. She started spending a lot of time going out, even spending time alone together and seeing one guy quite a lot in particular, but she guarenteed me and got upset with me for even asking if there was anything between them. I believed her as honesty was something we took very seriously, and she told me about it. I felt if there was something to hide, she wouldnt tell me. She is young, in her early twenties, and said there is so much she wanted to do in life, she just wanted time to think. She went home for a couple of days and constantly text me saying she needs my help, but as you can imagine, i was down as she left me, but she needed my support?As you can guesse, she split up with me and i recently found out that she is with this guy and are already debating when they should tell their friends. She doesnt know that i know, no one does. We know eachothers passwords, i have stopped checking as i know only bad news will come from it. This is a week later after we split up, and all this was happened in a month. in the beginning of this month she wanted to buy a house together.I have stopped all contact, but as we lived together, there is stuff we need to sort out so we still email eachother about that.I really feel destroyed, I know its for the best, but I love this girl. And i cant stop thinking about whether she will regret it, or not, what it is she saw in this other guy, besides he is very good looking, got a job bla bla. I feel like i will never find anything like what we had with someone else, it was so hard for me to find her in the first place, and i really fought for her. I feel responsible for this happening, i guesse i took her for granted, i dont know. But i am finding it very difficult to get over her, everything i see reminds me of her, even my pets and my clothes, my parents even. I cant throw them out which people suggest online. I just really thought she was it, and suddenly she is gone. If she did come back i dont think i would be able to continue the relationship, but i still love her and feel so empty, I just cant get rid of this damn feeling, i mean, was our relationship a lie? was I just a great friend all along?Any advice?
View related questions:
period, shy, split up, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, N3m0  +, writes (18 May 2012):
I know its hard aim going through something a bit similar, i cant not stop thinking about my ex, Reply if you need someone to talk to, I would like to know how you are doing now?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI also feel like I messed up too, as i was in a dark place about work, you get demotivated and support she gave me I threw back to her face at times. This led to some arguments at times. But i always apologized.
...............................
|
