A
male
age
30-35,
*ood91
writes:My girlfriend of 7 months broke up with me about a month ago. At first she said she needed time, which made me think ok no big deal. I was still sad about it and acted like a hopeless fool, but did give her time. About a week ago she says that were over for right now. We still talk all the time it seems like, atleaest everyday. We flirt. She says she still has some feelings for me, and that it still hurts her. I still love her more than ever. She has said she is going to start dating, but she is not going to get in a relationship right now. I cant even think about going on a date with another girl right now, and the fact that she ,and is probably going to, makes me sick to my stomach I have asked her to go on a date with me, always kind of joking and never completely serious. But she knows I mean it and want another chance still. She has said when she is ready, we will go on a date. Every time I even try to bring it up she changes the subject. I told her all I want is her honest answer, and she says she doesnt know what she wants. I want to believe her and i do. But what I don't understand is that if she is ready to date other guys, then why does she say she is not ready when I ask? Does she not really want to go on a date with me and I'm just too love blinded to see it? Or does she just want to see what else is out there? What should I do? Please somebody help me!
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male
reader, wood91 +, writes (7 September 2010):
wood91 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyea. im having trouble understanding how she can say she wants all that stuff with, then a month later saying she doesnt feel anything anymore? i kno i could have been more open to talking about it with her, but i felt like if i didnt say what she wanted to hear she would get mad. thats why i was so scared and hesistant to talk to her about it.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2010): Because she is in love with the idea of being loved..and we are raised from a baby to dream about being married. Its all soooo romantic..its all we think of. We write our names all over our notebooks, linked in a heart with yours...we practice writing our name with the last name of every boy we ever liked or thought we might like.
I think this girl likes you, and wants the package, but got close enough to realize she isnt ready for the reality.
Hope this helps a little bit...mal
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A
male
reader, wood91 +, writes (7 September 2010):
wood91 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionmarriedlady: she is the one who brought up tha marriage talk and all that stuff. but i dont think its gonna workout :(
CindyCares: I think you might have it exactly. And that hurts :( i love her soo much but shhe says she just feels empty about us. my heart is broken, ans she says hers is too. i cant let her go. i dont want to. i kno i have to but it hurts sooo much. i cant stand it. i dont know what im gonna do. i dont want anybody else.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (7 September 2010):
 Marriedlady is right ( as usual !).
I just would add, being probably more cynical and less good-natured than Marriedlady, that IMO she does not even care a lot about you. She,like most women, does not like to work without a net. She is probably shopping around for a new bf, or enjoying her single life as it is now, but just in case, it feels good to know that she can count on you. I think she likes to be liked and loves to be loved.
Just my gut feeling, which, correct or not, does not change the substance of the advice : let her go. Now. The more you wait the more it will hurt.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2010): Because you are serious and she still wants to play. You are ready for commitment and she knows she isnt. She cares a great deal about you but she isnt ready to settle down yet. You should respect that and step back for a while. Dont be so available. It is flattering but also off~putting. Im sorry honey, i hope you win in the end, but sometimes you have to let go...mal
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