A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:When my partner performs oral sex, it doesn't do much to arouse me. It isn't uncomfortable or anything like that, oral just doesn't do much to stimulate me. I can hardly feel her doing anything at all.Handjobs stimulate me perfectly well, and I'm able to achieve orgasm easily, so I doubt it has anything to do with my member's sensitivity. I've also never found the idea of oral to be 'gross', so I don't think it's a mental thing either.Is it something she's doing wrong (she is still learning and willing/eager to learn), or is the issue more likely on my side?Or is the appeal of oral sex watching the act more than the direct stimulus from it?Thanks
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2011): There could be many reasons why you don't get much pleasure from oral sex.
1. How does your partner dress during oral? Is she naked or dressed in lingerie? Sometimes the pleasure comes from watching the act instead of feeling it. Consider having her dress in something that is pleasurable to you. Maybe this will help.
2. Does she tease you before hand? Sometimes little blows of air to your head, or soft licks stimulate a man, at least this is what my husband says.
3. While performing, does she stroke the lower part of your member with her hand while the upper part is in her mouth? This is a must for my husband, I'm not a guy, but maybe guys don't get much stimulation by pure oral, maybe it's a combiation that makes it pleasurable.
4. Consider a change in your positon. Are you lying or standing? Try both and maybe the different position will aid your sensitivity.
The problem is most likely coming from her. If she's eager to learn like you say, then speak to her and don't be afraid to let her know what you find pleasurable and what you don't. Both of you are just learning.
Oh...and don't expect sex between a man and a woman to be like it is in porn videos. Most women aren't porn stars, so don't compare the real act to whatever is staged, edited, and on video. Hope this helps!
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