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Is she being friendly,interested or am I friend zoned?

Tagged as: Dating, Friends<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 July 2013) 4 Answers - (Newest, 25 July 2013)
A male Australia age 30-35, *squire93 writes:

So there is this girl I realized I kind of have a thing for, but have not really done anything about it. We do work at the same place I found out that this is what she thinks of me.

"Sometimes people touch you, and you want them in your life for a long time. Relationships ruin that for me"

Is there any chance for something to happen, or should I "cut my loses"? We get along very well with each other and have the same type of humour. For example today, she was telling me how she was treating her bikini line for ingrown hairs. She also got a little surprised and agitated, when she mistakenly thought I was leaving my job. The closest we have come to a date, was when we both decided to have dinner at a casino restaurant at 4.30am after a night of karaoke and clubbing.

I've been told that she does not "want anything" from work due to potential awkwardness. Further to this, I've found out that I'd be her no 1. choice

What complicates and confuses me is

1. She is 9 months out of a 4 year relationship

2. At work she suggested that act /pretend to others that we are getting married. Also on a night out with work colleagues, she asked me to pretend to ne her husband/bf if anyone hit on her.

3. Because we have a similar style humour it is hard to tell if she is just being her self or stepping it up. Case in point:She came over to my place for the first time, she noticed how my dog was kicking when I was rubbing/scratching her belly, and she said " You sure know how to find your dogs g-spot".

4. The way she slept when we were crashing at a friends place.

Feel free to ask any questions

View related questions: at work, clubbing, g-spot

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2013):

hey, it seems a friend zone thing. Sorry, I think if she can freely tell you about her bikini zone like that she feels comfortable as a friend, if I liked a guy and even if we had the same humour I would never say that. but then that's me. It kind of assures you that she only see's you as a friend. Also asking you to pretend to be her bf/husband so people don't hit on her is more of a friend thing, if she had intended on being with you she would be more shy about it. Like she assumes people will hit on her and your the backup, it's not a way to be treated. As a previous person said find someone who want's to be with you, not a backup, I know you have invested feelings in this person, but they seem unlikely to reciprocate so try and start a fresh. :)

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2013):

I would ask her round to your place and try talking to her just be honest with her see what her response is its sounds like she really likes you as for the work situation in sure you could sort that out

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2013):

I think you are in the friend zone...

I also think she is not over her 4 year relationship, 9 months later. She is scared of commitment again, and does not want to be in a relationship again - not yet, anyway. Which leaves you high and dry - wrong place at the wrong time.

Sure, she enjoys being around you, is very open about things you would only tell friends, Like bikini line, etc. yet also casually drops sexual comments like the one about your dog.

She is also using you to an extent, wanting to "pretend" to be her husband or boyfriend when she doesn't want anyone to hit on her. She can simply tell guys who approach her she is not interested or any other excuse, she does not need to give you false hopes.

I believe she knows you are very interested, and it's an ego boost for her, but that's all at this stage.

You deserve someone who feels equally about you, as you do about them. She doesn't sound like it... sorry.

Keep her as a friend, someone you are attracted to, but she sends too many mixed signals to assume a relationship with you.

For your own good, extend your eyes over the horizon, past her, and look for other available girls who would be over the moon to have you interested in them! You deserve it, and to be happy!

Good Luck

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2013):

Yep, sounds very interested....and there is only one way to find out for sure.

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