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male
,
anonymous
writes: Should I stay or should I go? I've been dating this gal for only a week. A little background, we are both mature adults 40+. She is nice, attractive, and seems to have a good career. The problem here; is she acting too needy or just lacking in social sophistication? Since we’ve meet we’ve seen each other two times already. Our time spent together so far has been much longer than the usual dating routine. It’s as if she wants to spend as much time as possible with me. Some things that she does to concern me are as follows: She wants to see me more often. She tells me how she's counting the days till we get together again, that she misses me, how much she likes me, or planning future dates. Once every day she likes to text me and also talks to me each evening. That's nice but that behavior alone bothers me. It’s as if she’s moving too fast, somewhat clingy, or plain honesty? I believe I’m dating a nice but much less sophisticated woman here. I’m not comfortable being with a woman who lacks sophistication and a bit bothered by it too, but willing to give it go for now. The most important issue here is that there is not much interesting or intelligent content in our conversations together. Sometimes I feel like I'm only appeasing her when we talk. It's uncomfortable as if I’m only going through the motions with her. I don’t see how [in lacking sophistication] there is a way to even discuss this with her. Is this enough to move on or give it more of a chance.
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male
reader, oldfool  +, writes (15 November 2008):
 This one was posted twice. The same question (with three replies) is at:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-believe-im-dating-a-nice-but-much.html
A
female
reader, Teacake  +, writes (14 November 2008):
 A friend of mine met a man who acted in this way, but she decided to give it a go and see what happened. In her case she was ready for a relationship and he calmed down once he knew they were a couple.
But the difference was they had mutual crushes on each other for a year and didn't know that. Also, a friend of there's stepped in to tell him to chill that he was scaring her off.
But, what you describe are red flags. You might have to talk to her to tell her your concerns and that if it was possible for her to relax, it would make things go easier.
Guess it also depends if you see a future with her is even what you want. If not, be honest. Tell her that you like her, but you don't want to lead her on. And I think in case she isn't aware of how needy and insecure she is acting, you might want to find a way to tell her that. In the end you are helping her find her balance.
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