A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:ok gang, so here it is. its a little long, i know but it reads fast! :)this girl and i have been on rough terms for the past few months. i kept gettin more and more upset with her because i felt she took me for granted. we are not dating or anything but still are friends, or so i thought.anyways, like i was getting mad for a lot of reasons o i cooled down our relationshp. she asked me to meet a few times and i said i wanted some space, then i said ok i will meet with you. so she calls and says ok, this week. i said fine. i emailed her on saturday asking about sunday. no reply from her. i thought thats weird, she was the one who wanted to meet. i emailed her again on tuesday asking whassup. she wrote back she could see me downtown at 9 PM. i said i thought we could meet in a convenient location to both of us. she wrote back could we meet on saturday at 9 pm. i said you diodnt answer the question and also no, i cant meet on saturday i thoguht you wanted to meet this week. i said i am busy on saturday and i said i knew she was going away on sunday.she goes we can meet sunday then. i said ok. she writes meet me downtown from 5 to 7 PM. I said, wait a second, you live downtown, its like an hour for me to get there and an hour for me to get back. and you just limit the mtg for 2 hours? she says im sorry but i got to meet some people after. i said forget it then. she goes, why? Im like, I am not gonna have our meeting timed. And also it takes me 2 hours, more than 2 hours actually to get there and back from my house. she goes, i was trying to see you because i really want to see you. she sys, I am leavign the next day so i got things to do.I go, you could have seen me all week, i am not your slave that i should travel all the way to meet you so you can meet your friends after, and be timed. we had a lot to talk about.she goes, then i guess you didnt really wnat to see me then too much.i said, i better go because i have a lot of bad feelins about you right now, and i closed my phone.am i right that she is all entitled in this case?was i being too demanding?to me it seems pretty clear i am not too high on her priority list of people to see. is that clear to you?thanks so much guys! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, fishdish +, writes (10 April 2011):
 yea she wasn't really budging on things for you; it could be just a coincidence that yes she is busy in getting ready to leave the area, but I do think it shows a lack of consideration that she didn't even UNDERSTAND that that it was inconvenient for you to go all that way to only see her for the amount of time it actually takes you to travel to see her! Some people say they want to meet up and then don't really take the steps to make it happen, and it's unfortunate and confusing because they act like they care enough about you to initiate that contact, it's kind of like, what was the point of you doing that then, just to cause me grief?
If she comes back to town sometime, just keep in mind she has these flakey tendencies, and seeing her will either work out or it won't but it's not worth getting emotionally invested in because her history with you shows that she won't invest the time or energy to meet you halfway; in sum, i guess you'll have to lower your standards of what kind of person she is..
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (10 April 2011):
 Well,yes,it's pretty clear that you are not too high on herpriority list of people to see. But I wonder : did you have reasonable expectations that you'd be in a higher position on that list? Was this a given, from your past history together ? Since you say you are not dating , just " friends ". But , unluckily, friendship means different things to different people. Some people take it very seriously and they would go all out and turn their plans upside down to fit in whom they consider a " friend ". But for a lot of people, " friend " is something more superficial, any of a number of social acquaintances all at the same level, if you see them fine, if you don't, fine too.Why, some people even says :I have 300, or 500 "friends " on Facebook !To sum it up, if this is like an old friend, with whom you had misunderstandings and you want to patch up, yes, she is in the wrong,acting cold and rude.If she is a recent , casual hang out buddy, I think you are expecting too much when you assume she should/would make you a priority. "Friend " ia an overused term these days.
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