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male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I have been going out with my girlfriend now for a litle over a month, we met at work but since then I no longer work there. I love being with her so much and I have very strong feelings for her. I have met her parents and a few of her friends (and she has told me they like me). When we are together it is fine, my problems dissapear but when im away from her I miss her like mad! I spent new years with her family but havent seen her since. She hardly ever texts me back and I do tell her I miss her. I asked if she wanted to go out during the week but she said she couldnt but the weekend would be fine. Since then I have had no more that 5/6 texts (In 4 days). I told her I tried to call her at lunch but she txt me from her mums fone saying she had no cred and left it at home, we txt for a bit but she did seem a bif off, I told her I could call her on her lunch break today (friday) and she txt saying she will have her phone with her, anyway tried to call her twice but she didnt answer, after work she text me off her mums phone saying she couldnt believe she missed my calls and if I could call her... tried to call straight away but no answer... text her asking which phone to call but she hasnt replied! I am so worried and feel sick with the thought of breaking up. I know we havent been going out long but she is what im looking for but I dont know where I stand! I have been told by a female friend that she is testing me but she didnt know y she asked me to call and didnt answa or txt back. Please help me, I need to know if she is going to end it or if I should just ask her whats wrong!
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2007): I just have to say that I am in the telecommunications industry and I sell data services and internet to large corporations and know how wonderful technology is to our lives and running businesses, but I have to say that the invention of the cell phone and text messaging is a bane as well as a godsend....a bane to personal relationships and a godsend to those of us who use it to conduct business.
If you are going to use the cell phone as a means of guaging the health of your relationship then you have already lost....people don't hear those damn things ringing half of the time, they don't always receive every text message you send as it is an unreliable way of sending an e-mail and the data can get lost.
Secondly, it makes you addicted to waiting for a quick response and turns you into a two year old when it doesn't come, so try to grow up and realize that she does not have to answer your beck and call and if she is an independent young woman, she is going to resist your constant barrage of trying to track her down....so stop it.
If you are going to use a cell phone to guage the health of your relationship, then use it as a business tool, send her texts when you cannot talk on the phone or she is in the car or a meeting to make appointments to talk or to meet later in perosn, do not send stupid texts with no agenda or plan and expect a equaly stupid answer back and when you don't get one, get all testy about it, this is a real turn off by the way.
A
female
reader, Reebe  +, writes (6 January 2007):
 Listen to farris thats very sound advice :-)
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A
female
reader, Farris +, writes (6 January 2007):
 You should definitely talk to her.
There are realistically two obvious scenarios to this. The first is that you're smothering her and she just wants a little bit of space. The second one is that she's just not as interested in you as you are in her.
By talking to her, you can find out what's going on and find a solution (for example, if she says that you are smothering her, you could agree to maybe speak once on the phone every week and then text a few times in between). If she refuses to talk to you, then she obviously isn't interested in you, and is too cowardly to admit it.
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A
female
reader, amberlyn +, writes (6 January 2007):
ask her what's wrong. it sounds very strange that she would be testing you. she might feel a little bit smothered by your approach and that your coming on to strong. take a step back and give her a bit of space.don't get offened and upset sit down and discuss what both of you are doing wrong. then fix it.try and losen up a bit this is suppose to be the fun part of the relationship, if you push her she might just walk away. (sorry didnt mean that to sound bad.) try it.
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