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female
,
anonymous
writes: Hi there, I am getting myself into a dilemma, and I need advise quick. I recently met a man who is 16 years older than me, has 2 teenage kids separated from his wife, and she seems to be living in the same house on and off...funny set up really. He says she doesn't want a divorce, does't want the legalities of it. I kissed him recently, and had the most amazing day with him today. I haven't fallen for anayone in about 4 years, have dated lots, but we are soo compatible its scary. He said he'd never marry again and probably won't want kids...things I want. I am trying to be strong and not fall for his seductions since we kissed, but I feel I am weakening. Sometimes I feel I should just throw caution to the wind and have a mad passionate romance for a while just because I am always so sensible, not opening my heart. I know I am holding back for dear life with my feelings here. I was hurt bad before hence being so cautious once again. Am I mad to even consider a short romance here? What should I do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2007): There is nothing funny about a man being seperated from his wife especially when two teenage kids are involved...he is telling you he does not want a divorce, his reason that he does not like the legality of it means he does not like the finality of it.
A seperation is just that, a seperation to see if the marriage issues can be worked out and the marriage can be salvaged before something as final as a divorce happens...this man for all practical and emotional and finaancial purposes is MARRIED.
You are getting in over your head, you are very infatuated with him and unless you are prepared to be hurt again, you are risking a lot just to have a roll in the hay with him because that is mostly what it is about...you are 16 years younger than he is which means you are closer to the age of his children than you are to him, it is common for a man going through divorce to build up his ego sleeping with much younger women....unless you want to be a rebound ego boosting fling, then I say stay clear...if all you are in it for is the sex, that is another thing entirely, but I can tell from the way you are talking, you want more.
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