| A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Hi. Just to jump straight into it. I recently got involved with a guy. We met a few times in unrelated circumstances and after I admitted I had feelings towards him. To my suprise he reciprocated. Our 'relationship' since has purely been online as we have been unable to meet up. The past few times our conversations have become much more sexual, and on one part I started to feel a bit uncomfortable. I attempted to explain this, but he basically made out that I was being silly. I've also noticed that he adds a large amount of girls on his social network site. My question really is why do guys feel the need to add girls that it seems they would be unable to pursue things with, and if any guys could clear up if talking in a sexual content online means that the guy is interested in nothing more. I'm in my mid twenties but very inexperienced, and have been hurt in the past. I think it's more shocked my system. I do like him but as I just went, he hasn't responded to my text. I would call but I don't want to stress him out. Thanks.
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female
reader, crimson_kiss  +, writes (3 April 2009):
 I have to agree with Denny, just because he has a ton of women that he adds to his network does not mean he is trying to sleep with them all. It could be that he prefers the friendship of females rather than males.
Opposite sex friendships are very valuable sometimes.
Yes, tell him you are uncomfortable when he brings things up that you don't like. Knock him down a peg and if he cuts it out and still talks to you then you know he respects you and really is not just out for "sex"
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2009): Online dating is good in one way...it allows you to make a sensible judgement call on who's right for you, without actually dating each other, in real life. But let's be real...you haven't met yet and already, he's making sexual 'hints and innuendos' which is making you feel uncomfortable. Hold that thought for a minute and let me say, that 'dating' is a process of two people getting to know each other, one should 'only' continue forward, as long as it feels right, comfortable and one is being respected. A person needs to stop when it feels wrong. From what you have stated, you seem to have a man there, whose already being 'sexual' with you in a very short time and has not even 'met you in the real world'. You must be realistic and make a sound judgement based on what he's doing. If I were in your shoes, I would think, he's a guy who values what is goes on, south of his belt buckle. In this case, sex with the ladies is likely....simply a goal. Your discomfort and concern over his actions, is telling me you don't want to have a relationship with someone who is disrespecting you...now that way of thinking is truely...a value, a good value. What's happening here is he wants you to take all that he offers, which is nothing substantial eg: his attentions/his romancing, plainly with the goal of getting sex). Don't be in such a rush to date a guy like this...be that woman who prizes herself above his urges. Trust your feelings and trust yourself. For the right man, you will be exactly what he is looking for. And the right man would never make you feel uncomfortable. Trust your instincts here and make a decision based on what's best for you. Remember there are millions of awesome men out there, who would not act in this way. I encourage you to look for one of those guys. Good luck and take care of YOU.
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