A
male
age
30-35,
*ictric
writes:I've been in this sort of long distance relationship with this girl for 9 months now and recently we've run into this "recession".We live 1.5 hours away from each other and we've both agreed to wait for each other until I go to college. Then we would be closer together and have a chance to actually date, so there's a sense of commitment between us.In the past month or two we haven't been talking(phone) as regularly or as often as we used to. Before, I would almost always be the one to call her. However, she uses one of those "pay as you go" phones and ran out of money on it, so she has to resort to using her home phone. She can't let her parents know about this, so I can't call her and our conversations depend on her now. Her reason at first for not being able to call was that her dad would be home for about a week. Even after however, I've only spoken to her 2 or 3 times. During one of the conversations she asked me if I would be sad if we ended up being just friends b/c it got too hard. She also told me that her feelings for me had diminished, but only slightly, b/c we haven't talked in so long. I asked her if she still wanted to keep trying at our relationship, and she said yes. At the same time, I noticed that she started myspacing and texting another guy regularly. I have to admit I started getting jealous b/c she was giving him more attention than me. She no longer texts me as she used to and hardly ever tries to talk on the phone anymore.I feel neglected and I suspect that her feelings for me are fading because of the other guy. In the past, there has been a situation where she has liked another guy. She told me about it and I told her she had to make a choice in which she ended up choosing me and I think that has made our connection stronger. I was thinking if she did like the other dude she would tell me, but I don't know anymore.Right now I’m unsure where our relationship is headed. I don’t know if she really likes me that much anymore and b/c of all this I find that my feelings for her have also diminished. I know I should talk to her about it but I don’t know how to bring it up exactly.Sorry this is really long lol .
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female
reader, misfitschik66  +, writes (5 July 2008):
 my boyfriend and i were in a 10 month long distance relationship he lived an 1.5 hours away and at first we talked on the phone for hours on end then it went to like 15 minutes a day he would call me because i hated calling him due to his family being anal
he came to see me as much as he could (he worked A LOT) about 9 months into our relationship he wanted a brake because he was having a lot of problems and worried about commitment (in essence he was scared) so after a week of a brake it just hurt to much and we decided that we would make it work and he decided that he would move in with me since then everything is great so in the end all it took was taking the next step in our relationship
all i can say is maybe there is a commitment problem and maybe its time to see if you need to take the next step
and if she isn't ready let her know its really effecting you and if things don't start changing then maybe its time to say goodbye
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