A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My wife and I have been married for fifteen years now.In the 12th year of the marriage, she told me after an heated exchange in the view of her sister and brother, that I had no respect for her so we should get separated. After a few months she explained that she had reunited with her previous lover who she broke up with prior to us getting married and was going to divorce me, migrate to the US, marry him and live there. I started divorce proceedings. Before the decree aboslute for the divorce she reunited with me, we forgave each other made up and cancelled the divorce proceedings. We have been happy since although at times I express the pain I suffered.Recently I accidently came accross an email echange between she and her boss who have began travelling together in a new customer promotion role:Wife response to boss' email: Good morning to you. Just to let you know that I value our friendship, its rare, its special, its inspirational. Let us do everything to preserve it. Every opportunity I get, you are in my thoughts, what we could be doing, what we did already. It just gets better and better. Cant wait to see you tomorrow. Hey sorry I had to terminate our call this morning, but my privacy was invaded. Hey, you know what I am thinking, can we change the dates in May for the trip, not a good time, as that week is the Period (Menstrual cycle). The week after or before. Hey, we have to capitalize on these opportunities, as they are rare. Whats your say on this?Boss previous sent email:Subject: Good MorningHi Employee: Trust you'll have a great day. You know what- today is the last day of the long week-end. Cant wait for tomorrow to see my "S and S" person (S and S is easy to figure out) and her smile that brightens my day. LaterI confronted her as they have been on several trips prior to this if she was having an affair. She denied it and explained he was a strong Catholic Christain and was married. I told her that I was not waiting around for the relationship to solidify and was going to seek a divorce as I could not stand to suffer the same fate twice. She has been trying to re-assure my trust in her but I find this dificult. What do you advice?
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affair, broke up, divorce, period Reply to this Question
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male
reader, pamedict  +, writes (23 September 2010):
Well, speaking from personal experience you have 1 of 2 choices in this situation. Tell her to pack up and hit the road, or stay with her and suffer the consequences! I found out my wife had an affair with her boss for over 3 years while I was going thru a series of illnesses and surgeries. Once I found out I told her we would keep the household together for my daughter who is a Senior in high school, but when she leaves for college next August that my wife needs to figure out where she's going to live also. "Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me"! I was 'burnt once', I'm not going to be 'fried twice'! Good luck with your future and reliaze once a woman is unfaithful they will repeat the behavior. PamedicT
A
male
reader, viewfromthecity +, writes (11 July 2009):
decide if you're willing to stay married to someone that is and will be unfaithful. some people are ok with it...just decide if you are one of them and move forward accordingly.
do not expect her to change -- just decide
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2009): decide if you're willing to stay married to someone that is and will be unfaithful. some people are ok with it...just decide if you are one of them and move forward accordingly.
do not expect her to change -- just decide
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all. I am really hurting for I love my wife so much! I will delay my decision after seeking some counselling. Love makes fools of us all.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2009): None of it sounds right at all. I'd say divorce, but then agains I advise against doing anything unless she admits it. You gotta somehow have the confession come out of her - but it is really doubtful because I doubt that she'd wanna lose the security she has with you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2009): I don't see how you could read the email any other way than she's being unfaithful. Under what other possible circumstance would an employee discuss their menstruation with their employer??
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A
female
reader, Smellyellie  +, writes (13 June 2009):
 Believe this women. If you don't then maybe you shouldn't be with her as you obviously can't trust her. The relationship between her and her boss may just be very personal. Just because they send emails that contain sexual content dosent necceraly mean that they have been sexually involved with each other especially when they went away. If you don't trust her still how about trying to catch her in the act as confronting her obviously didn't work.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2009): after reading her exchange with her boss i am sorry to tell you that there seems to be "irrefutable proof" that she has been doing the dirty with him. of course she wil not admit to her affair but i am glad you are taking no nonsense from her. yes it pains you but rather be proactive than reactive. this woman had an affair once, you both then reconcile. do you want to go through the torture the second time. first time she made it seem as though you were the guilty party, while she was with her previous lover. i think you know sadly history is repeating itself. your wife cannot have her lover and you. i am glad you made the decision for her. it shows you means business and would not tolerate her nonsense again. you need to remain firm because she will try to worm her way into your good books again. the email exchange is all you need to prove an existence of an inappropriate relationship bet this man and your wife. i think it is in black and white. the end result of her affair has devastated you but why be a cuckold hb anymore.good luck and well done - you have handled this promptly and decisively. you need to stick to your guns and resolve this asap. plse also do the financial homework as to who is entitled to what. be wise, strategic and come out the winner. in life it is all about the choices we make - you wife has made hers, you just need to reinforce yours. Take Care.
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