A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:After receiving some very helpful advice in a previous question and also getting a very nice reality check, I now need to know how to make sure I don't get involved again with my ex who was talking about getting back together this Summer. See the second time we broke up, it was me who ended it. Then, in an effort to get over him, I tried ignoring him. Both really hurt him. So I don't have it in me to hurt him again but It can't go anyfurther. As of right now, things aren't that progressed in the 'talking' stage. Like last week I mentioned I regret breaking up with him and he said 'well maybe we might try it again?this summer?' and stupid me said I'd like that but now I realize it would just be a mistake. So how can I get him to realize that he doesn't want this either? It may make me a horrible person staying in this but I can't hurt him again. Maybe if I just show alittle distance? If none of these work, can I just look at it as a summer fling and figure things out down the road? Please help, I just can't get involved with him again.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2009): - I'm the poster FYI-
But thanks. As much as don't want to do it clearly it's just best. I've never been good with disappointing or hurting people so that's why I just try and avoid it. Thankfully recently not much has happened and there hasn't been much talking but if it ever came to where the convo came back to us again, i'm just going to make sure I make it clear that things wouldn't work out. So, as I said, thanks :) it's greatly appreciated
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2009): No! The summer fling idea is out of the question completely!
Think about it, you cant just date someone out of pity, you will just lead him on, and what makes you think the 'fling' will just be a 'fling'? He is likely to want to be with you after the summer!
You obviously dont want to get back with this guy, and the reasons you broke up with him last time are still valid. To be honest, you are going to end up hurting the guys feelings whichever way you choose to go about this, but believe me it will be easier and less painful for both of you if you just tell him how you really feel, that the relationship isnt going to work and you are better off seeing other people. It will be hard, but you will be thankful you told him.
Hope it goes ok whatever you decide to do!
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