A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I am 17 and i am 5'7" and nearly 160lbs. i have always been bigger than my friends but now its really getting me down. right now all my close friends and sister have boyfriends and i really want one. is my weight putting boys off? it makes me feel really fat and ugly and i know its sounds really sad but i just want to be loved. please give me advice! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (14 February 2013):
 160 pounds = 72 kgs for 5'7" =170 cm. is neither fat nor huge nor dangerously unhealthy, If we want to nitpick, yes, I guess you are a bit on the chubby side, and probably you'd look , but most of all feel, more attractive with 10 pounds less or so... so what's the big deal ? you can lose 10 pounds in no time, and mind you , I am not advocating any crash diet or anything. Just get off that TV or PC a couple times a day and go for a brisk walk, and cut on desserts and snacks, and at your blessed age ,with a normal metabolism , in 3 months or so you'll have lost that bit of extra padding.
A
male
reader, anon_e_mouse +, writes (14 February 2013):
 11.5 stone for a girl who is 5'7" is hardly what I would call fat! Don't be stupid!!! You are very tall for your age.
I'm 11 stone and 6'0" and look a bit on the skinny side to tell the truth. I'm trying to put weight on to get to between 12-13 stone.
I think this is more down to confidence than anything else to be honest like the other posters here say.
If the weight thing does bother you then do some exercise. My weight bothered me, as a man, I feel I should be a bit bigger so I go down the gym and work out. Girl friends of mine have noticed I'm in better shape and see me in a different light now and it also does wonders for my confidence and self-esteem. My mates have noticed a difference too but they wouldn't say anything.
I don't think your weight for your height is fat at all but if you're not happy why not do something about it?
In my town there are a lot of women and men jogging all the time. You could go for a run twice a week with your favourite songs on your iPod for an hour and see a difference after a few weeks.
If you're not happy do something about it :)
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A
female
reader, LovieYourMine  +, writes (14 February 2013):
 You should never be putting yourself down for things like this. You should be proud of who you are and be happy in your own skin. Don't ever care about what others think of you, what is really important is that you love yourself. If you dont love youself you will be portrayed that way. Always know that there is some one for every one. Your some one hasnt found you yet. For now just be more worried about being confident. Because it sounds like you're not happy in your own skin and you need to be. Good luck sweetie.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2013): No, I don't think your weight is the problem, it's your lack of confidence. When I was 17, I was REALLY thin. I was around your height, and weighed 115. I did have a boyfriend, but he constantly checked out other women. He also treated me like crap most of the time. I was with this guy for 3 years, (ages 16-19). Wanna know why I stayed with him for so long? I felt I couldn't do any better, because I had no self confidence. I didn't feel any other guy could find me attractive, so I settled for him. I now know I was wrong, and what I wouldn't give to have that time back. I'm 24 now, and married to a wonderful guy, but I still feel like I missed out on my teenage years, because I was with that loser for half of them. Consider yourself to be lucky you're single, because if you spend all your time wrapped up in one guy right now, you'll most likely regret it later on. You'll spend a lot of time wondering what it would have been like to be free and see whoever you want, without having to answer to anybody.
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A
female
reader, Euphoric29  +, writes (13 February 2013):
Dear OP,I know enough girls with the same BMI or more who got boyfriends and you should not let some Index decide over whether you are comfortable with yourself. Personally, I really adore women with curves, I think it's feminine and sexy. It's what makes women different from the men. I want to tell you something really important about being a woman: you can be unhappy about your body and hate yourself at every weight, really. You can feel inadequate and an idiot with every size of clothes. It makes me so sad that women have so many problems with their bodies. I hated my body too, when I was 17. It got me on the verge of an eating disorder, which didn't make me sexy, but very very miserable, obsessed, flat breasted and insecure. To lose weight, especially in a fast way or through diets, won't give you more self confidence or a better love life. I tried it and it really didn't work for me. It can become like an obsession. Plus, there's always the yo-yo effect which I experienced as well.Just take care of yourself. To do some kind of exercise is never a bad idea, but not just because of weight loss. It releases happiness hormones and makes you feel proud and comfortable in your body. Don't hide from the world, enjoy your life. Wear clothes that make you feel beautiful, wear your hair in a way that fits your style. CMMP is right, self confidence is really very important when it comes to sexiness. And self confidence comes from not giving a f**k what some guy might have to say. No matter what you do, you can't please to everybody.Tastes are different and while some people might like you and find you attractive, others won't. Especially at your age, I can imagine guys are still somewhat strict about bodyweight standards. They are still half ways boys and they want to brag about having the most beautiful girlfriend. Which usually looks like a cheerleader or porn star to them. Standards are much different than those of really grown up men who appreciate a woman. Generally, teenagers make so much drama about things that won't matter later on in life.. like the age when you had your first kiss, your first real date, your first real sex.. some years later no one will care about this anymore. I hope I don't sound like your mother right now.. I just wish I could have come back from the future to tell the past me not to worry and cry so much back then. To find love and good company is a challenge for everyone. Disappointment and loneliness, but also luck and happiness can find you at any BMI.Hug,E.
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female
reader, sunshineyogi  +, writes (13 February 2013):
At 17 that is a perfectly normal weight, as long as you're healthy I would not worry about that at all. It is important to get out and about and get in some exercise and vitamin D as its a great happiness booster, but those numbers are not bad in terms of body measurements at all!I'm pretty sure the most attractive thing is confidence, own your body and have the attitude that it doesn't matter if you don't have a boyfriend yet. It may seem like everyone else is but having a boyfriend just to have one is really unsatisfying, guys you really like who really like you are going to pop up - just take care of yourself and get out and about to have a great time, boys will come ;)Once you finish being a teenager and become 'a real adult' its going to blow your mind how many people you meet who have attitudes and interests really similar to you, your time will come!
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (13 February 2013):
 I don't think that 160 at 5'7" is that bad... especially if you are young and fit.... actually at 17 and 5'7" your bmi is 25.1 or so and that's HEALTHY
when I was your age I thought I was fat. I would kill to weigh what i weighed in high school.... I was not fat..
if you feel fat and ugly that's what's killing you
women are supposed to have some fat on them dear... you won't have your period if you are too thin... women have butts and boobs and bellys and all the air brushing in the world makes us think we are not normal
Look at Marilyn Monroe... she was a nice solidly built woman and quite the sex symbol.... women now are brainwashed into thinking you are never thin enough... but you can be.
you are your own worse enemy honey.... if you really hate yourself so badly I would suggest figuring out how to love yourself...
your weight is fine... so what are you good at?
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (13 February 2013):
I had a girlfriend that was your weight and height and I didn't consider her to be overweight at all, she was very beautiful. Although she was "thick" so her breasts and butt were full. If the little bit of extra weight you do have is in your face or stomach than it may be a turn off to some, but probably not to the extent that's it's preventing anyone from finding you attractive.
The good thing is that you can start working out and relatively quickly remove the extra weight as its really not much.
In an ideal world people wouldn't be judged for things like this, especially since happiness in a relationship has more to do with personality than looks. But people have their preferences.
All that being said your weight probably is not to blame- maybe it's your confidence? Maybe you're shy? There could be other things. There are some people who find dating easy, others who have to figure it out.
Also, from my experience dating at your age is overrated. Being single is fun and less dramatic.
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