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male
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anonymous
writes: Is my sisters marriage more important to her relationship with me, her brother?I hate to sound selfish but this question has been bothering me for a while. Me and my sister were really close before she got married, but now its like I don't matter anymore. Me and my brother-in-law get along, but I have trouble feeling like I've gained a brother. I feel like I've lost my sister, who was once always there for me and now pretty much doesn't know I exist.Is her marriage more important to her than her relationship with me? I mean in the sense that she loves him more than she loves me or that he means more to her than I do. Its kind of painful to experience your sister get married and no longer be there for you like she used to be. Its kind of wierd as a guy to talk with my friends about this so I thought I'd try here. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2006): lol. I seem to have made the same mistake you did martini. In the last part, reading "that you as her close friend and BROTHER, will always be there for her."
reading that made me feel alot better.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2006): You're welcome. 8] Hopefully your emotions can only improve between you and your sister, and you and her husband. 8]
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2006): "not that she is taking you for granted, but you have to realize that she knows for a fact, at leat feel for a fact, that you as her close friend and sister, will always be there for her"
Thanks martini, reading that made me feel a lot better.
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male
reader, eddie  +, writes (13 May 2006):
 This doesn't sound aas much selfish as it does wierd. Are you a little too close to sis? I mean, what are you thinking about? Somesay you'll be in the same spot. I mean c'mon. "does she love him more" ? What kind of question is that?
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2006): Oops, I meant "that you as her close friend and brother, will always be there for her."
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2006): She most likely does NOT love him more, but you have to remember that the love for him is different than the love she has for you. Of course it IS obvious that her attention will now adjust towards her husband. Her husband is an extremely important person in her life. Please know that as well, you are too, BUT, not that she is taking you for granted, but you have to realize that she knows for a fact, at leat feel for a fact, that you as her close friend and sister, will always be there for her. Her focus right now and most likely for the future is on her husband and their future together.
You can be selfish and sad that you are becoming more distant from your sister. However, I feel that I think if you write letters to her once every now and then, maybe call her up, visit her out of the blue, etc - you may indeed find that the whole experience of her refocussing her life on her own family, quite invigorating.
You may also alternatively, even talk to your sister about your feelings. Of course, try to be compassionate. 8]
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