A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I was with this girl for a while (almost two months). She liked me but it was kind of flakey; sometimes she was more into me than others. After a while I found out that she was still obssesed with her ex bf after one and a half years (!) of not even talking to him. I know the guy and he's NOT going back with her and he even has a new girlfriend. She stalks her ex's new gf's facebook, twitter and stuff. It's that bad.We ended up not seeing each other anymore because she wasn't in the same page I was, clearly. It's like she was excited at first and when she started comparing me with her ex she got bored, started missing him even more and begun trying to push me away. I was sort of a "rebound" you may say.It's been a long time and the only thing I want to know now is whether or not this could've worked had she NOT been clinging to her ex.Or even, whether or not if I was to meet her again, say in 5 years (when she's hopefully long over her ex) we could have a relationship. I think that what I want to hear is that the reason this didn't work out is because she was messed up and NOT because she didn't like me enough.But perhaps if a new guy she *really* liked appeared in her life, he could help her forget about her ex (unlike me). So, what's your opinion guys?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (19 November 2013):
 This is not a rejection of YOU but rather a rejection of the idea of someone OTHER than the ex boyfriend. It's been a year and a half and she's still stalking her ex's new GF.. she's not over him.
It's possible that if she was in the right frame of mind and had done her healing prior to meeting you it would have worked... sadly you were her rebound... not your fault at all.
and NOT a reflection of you at all.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2013): Hello, am going through the same thing now, I even broke up with my new girl friend, so now I did the same thing she did to me, life has its way, coming around an around, I hope you wake one day soon, an she wont be even a memory, funny thing is they dont even think about us, they always miss the bad boys, not the good guys. You will fined your smile again one day, am still waiting, year an half, an she doesnt even miss me.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2013): Something similar recently happened to me and before we even got together, I more or less begged the guy not to pursue me until he had time to get over his ex. He was adamant that he was fine and wanted to see me (maybe genuinely believed it at the time) but it became obvious he wasn't ready. Don't take it personally, I honestly believe that timing plays a huge part in relationships. She obviously liked you enough to form some sort of bond, and she probably didn't realise she was hurting you at the time. Generally, people don't maliciously set out to hurt us. As you have rightly realised, she is simply stuck in the past. Best thing you can do is keep your dignity and carry on with your life. Hope this helps, good luck dude :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2013): I think it could have been a number of things One this is for certain she was definitely on the rebound pathI mean if your truly over your ex you are not stalking themAnd they're current partners on social media sites, even though you are bound to be curious to see they are getting on ok I do think she genuinely had feeling for you she would not have stayed with you if she was not interested.Mabye she was just in a bad place and could not see the great positives of your relationship together because she was still living in the past .I think this girl needed/needs time to work on herself and sort out some underlying issues before stepping into a relationship with another person.Its probably a large portion of why you didnt work out or you might not have been compatible with one another.Its hard to tell i guess in a few years time you could get in contact.But i think if you really care about this girl for the time being you could be there for her as a friend help her sort though some issues cheer her up it could mean the world to her without her even realising thats if she wants that type of support from you !
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (18 November 2013):
 You were the rebound without a doubt and honestly, if I were you, I wouldn't hold out hope that in x amount of years you and her can make a go at it again. Find a girl who WANTS to date YOU for you, not just date you because you are a guy.
She liked the IDEA of having a BF, ANY BF, but in practicality she wasn't looking for a new guy but for her ex. She isn't over him and I don't think she will be for a long time, specially if she is "stalking" him on FB, Twitter, you name it. She is obsessed over him.
It doesn't mean that there is ANYTHING wrong with you. It's not like you weren't GOOD enough to make her forget. SHE just isn't ready.
Her loss. Move on.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2013): I once dated the nicest man in the world. Perfect for me. But my heart was still broken over an ex, and I could not give him my heart till it had healed. He knew this and stopped seeing me for his own self preservation. Had I met him two years later, things would have been very different. I wanted to like him, but I just couldn't till my heart was available to.
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A
female
reader, sugarplum786  +, writes (18 November 2013):
 You were the rebound guy, she probably really tried to forget the ex, but her heart is with him. The relationship will not survive as long as she is hung up on the ex. She was never into you and settled because she could not have the ex back.
It sounds like she will go back to her ex should the opportunity present itself and you will end always end up with a broken heart. As much as you like her, its time to put this relationship in the past and move on to someone without this kind of baggage. Don't go one with the what if scenarios as you will be no different to her, hung up on someone that is not into you.
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