A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I am 15 years old. I have given two guys bjs, and I am soooo ashamed. I regret all of it, and i feel sick whenever i think about it. I feel like i am a bad kid. However, I am in a relationship right now (although he says he doesn't care about physical stuff, and will not pressure me, whatever we do is my choice). I have decided to focus on keeping this one relationship because I care about him a lot, and if it doesn't work out and we break up that I am giving up dating for the rest of high school to prevent any temptations. Basically going completely celibate. Is this the right way to approach it? Also any tips on helping me get over this intense amount of regret/shame?
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (30 October 2011):
 Seems like you are very good at learning from your mistakes, so stop beating yourself up for making a couple.
If celibacy works for you and your BF, then good. He seems like a keeper.
Being celibate at 15 isn't such a bad idea. You are being flooded with hormones and new feeling all the time, it's hard not to act on them. But you seem to take the time to think and not jsut act, THAT will help you a lot in the future.
Stop being ashamed.
A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (30 October 2011):
 Kiddo, we live and learn. You feel like things you have done were mistakes. Fair enough – we all make mistakes. So learn from them. You’re not a bad kid, you’re a human being on a journey. Don’t let mistakes paralyze you, but instead accept the lesson learned.
You are in a relationship now, and you’re setting boundaries based upon what you’ve learned in the past. Good for you. That’s exactly what you should be doing. In this relationship, and in all the others that will follow, you need to be true to yourself. If that’s celibacy, fine. If that’s drawing strict limits that you are comfortable with short of celibacy, fine. The important thing is to live, going forward, without regrets. So be kind and true to yourself. Ignore pressure from boyfriends . Act in a way, from now on, so that you wake up and look in the mirror and see someone who is proud of herself. Beating yourself up for things you did doesn’t help; leaning from those mistakes does.
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A
female
reader, misztoria +, writes (30 October 2011):
 Being celibate at your age is a GREAT idea! Don't be ashamed for doing what you did, it was a learning experience and you shouldn't do it again until you're in a committed relationship where both of you know each other's sexual history and get tested for STD or STI's (they keep changing the acronym). Anyway, just be glad you didn't catch anything from doing that. Don't be in a rush to start experimentation because at your age you're not missing anything.Good luck with everything and I think you made the right chose to be celibate.
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A
female
reader, LMnieves +, writes (30 October 2011):
This sounds very good. There is NOTHING wrong with it. However I wouldn't promise that you won't date anyone after him. Thats not very realisic! Just because one guy breaks your heart, doesn't mean there isn't other good guys!Some tips? Well, i've never been celibate...but just remmeber all the time you felt ashamed and regrettful b/c of the times you did do something sexual, and hopefully that will not make you want too. Being celibate could be a GREAT way to figure out what guys only care about and what guys do!
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