A
female
age
36-40,
*ellybeans20009
writes:Dear Everybody who reads this,I am an idiot. For as long as I can remember I've had a track record of having a crush on a guy every single year. If I got over one, I'd get one as soon as the new year came around. When I was younger I was really insecure and it was a crush from a far. I never even got the guts to do anything about it. I realize those were based off fantasy more than reality. Now, the situation is a little different. My crushes are a little more fact based, but I worry that they get out of hand. The only relationship I've had...well it wasn't a real relationship to begin with. It lasted two months and the guy was a jerk who was an immature user. It was probably one of the top 5 saddest moments of my life, but I got over it. Recently I met this foreign exchange student who's leaving in two months. We hit it off really well, and as crazy does I started to get overly excited about meeting this new friend. I thought, maybe now I can finally have someone in my life to click with and connect with in a nonromantic way. I started getting carried away with my first impression of him, although not that bad as I have tried to remind myself of the reality of the situation. However, it doesn't help that much. I would like to learn how to have a friendship with a guy without feelings being in the way. And to be perfectly honest, i'm in a situation in my life right now where I am lonely. So yes when he did show up it was like a really exciting moment. I did my very best to draw boundaries to do this and that, but friday comes around and I catch myself being really hurt and jealous as I saw him interact with other girls. Am I crazy? No I'm not 12, I'm 24 years old and yet I keep having these irrational attachments. And I would never admit this to anyone I knew in real life, but I cried last night. It wasn't so much about him in particular. If we were to describe the feeling, it was a neediness and a hunger to be loved I guess. And I am not in a position where I get to be around many guys so when he, a fairly attractive, and nice guy comes along and relieves me of loneliness with his friendship.I can't help myself. I'm just overcome with this desire to want to know him better, to get comfortable with each other and have a long friendship. Last night I came upon myself to win some money and some guy asked me for my phone number, but all I could think about was the urgency I had to chase after this guy, worried about what he thought of me--how sad it was that he didn't like me that way. It was also about what could I do to make the situation turn around, and how worried I was about letting people know I was this weak and jealous. The last thing I want is to ruin this by letting it get awkward, which I'm afraid this connection is heading to. I don't want to mess it up. Advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.
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crush, immature, insecure, jealous, money Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (30 October 2011):
 If, by chance, either of your parents is a former General Motors, Ford or Chrysler executive, then I'd guess your craving for a "new model" every year is a genetic issue.....
If not (parents)... then maybe you're just young and interested in what's going on..... and not yet decisive about settling down with some one guy. What's the harm in that???
Good luck.....
A
female
reader, misztoria +, writes (30 October 2011):
 Sit back and relax. This must be a stage in young women's life where we feel this way because I too feel this way sometimes. Just let things happen organically. Don't rush things, let the guys do all the work. Besides, men love to chase women if the women are strong and level-headed. I myself can't be friends with men unless I'm completely un-attracted to them and they aren't attracted to me. If you want to be friends with a guy let them know in the beginning instead of waiting and then getting attached. Stop thinking so much! Good luck!
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